Feeling disconnected after reverting - looking for gentle guidance, assalamu alaikum
assalamu alaikum - i reverted last august 2024 and i’m really thankful for finding islam, but lately i feel my iman slipping and i could use some real, relatable advice. i don’t want the usual generic lines; i’m hoping for practical tips, small habits, quotes, or personal stories that helped others reconnect and actually feel islam beautiful again. quick background so you get where i’m coming from: i’m young, my family doesn’t know and wouldn’t fully support me, i don’t have access to a mosque, and my phone is monitored so i can’t rely on prayer apps or timers. i’m basically alone with very little support. on top of that, i’m stuck in a haram relationship that’s my main tie to religion right now - and leaving feels impossible because i’m scared of losing both him and my sense of connection to Allah. i know it’s wrong and i don’t plan to stay in denial, but it’s complicated and painful. i’m also dealing with a lot personally: deep insecurities (i often feel like i need makeup to feel okay going out), mental health struggles that affect me physically, and conditions like adhd and pots that make simple routines feel impossible. i can’t seem to pray regularly - fear of parents walking in, depression, overwhelm - and even keeping wudu is a struggle. i don’t want to come off as lazy; it genuinely feels like everything’s working against me. in the year since i reverted, i’ve lost so much of myself that i hardly feel like a muslim anymore. i really just want to connect with people who understand the messy parts of this journey. please share things that helped you: dua, short reminders, small rituals that brought you back, verses or hadith that helped you feel comforted, revert stories - anything that made islam feel alive and accessible again. also, i’d love tips for learning basic arabic in a low-profile way (something i can practice privately without drawing attention). jazakum allah khair for any honest, simple advice. i just want to find my way back to Allah in a way that fits my messy life right now.