Feeling Alone on My Path to Islam
Salam everyone, I'm really hoping for some advice or just a bit of encouragement because I'm feeling pretty lost at the moment. For the last year or so, I've been really pondering life, why we exist, and Allah. I didn't rush into anything-I asked a lot of tough questions, wrestled with doubts, and tried my best to be honest and logical. I eventually came to believe in Allah through my own reasoning, like thinking about how something can't come from nothing and that there must be a necessary being behind everything. That led me to explore Islam more deeply. The issue is, my parents found out, and it's caused a huge rift. They're convinced I've been brainwashed or influenced. They think I only looked into Islam because of a potential spouse I was speaking to (we couldn't proceed because I wasn't Muslim at the time, which actually made me curious to learn more). They just won't accept that this was my own personal journey. Now things are really tense: * They hardly speak to me * They say I'm 'not the same person anymore' * They've sort of emotionally withdrawn but I'm still living at home * They keep insisting I'm being controlled or manipulated My mom says things like: * 'We can't even know for sure if Allah is real' * 'You're just following a bunch of rules and losing who you are' * 'You chose the most strict religion' * 'You're completely brainwashed' And honestly... it's starting to wear me down. I feel torn between: * What I genuinely believe is the truth, based on my own reasoning * And this deep fear of losing my family and feeling totally isolated All this pressure is even affecting my iman. I really *want* to trust in Allah, but my mind keeps whispering: 'What if He isn't real?' 'What if I'm making a huge mistake?' So right now I'm feeling: * Isolated in my own home * More doubtful of myself * Emotionally drained * Scared of choosing wrong I don't know how to find a balance between: * Staying true to what I believe is right * And not destroying my relationship with my parents If anyone has experienced something similar, or has any tips on: * Dealing with parents who think you're brainwashed * Managing doubts while strengthening your faith * Or just how to cope with feeling so alone in this I'd be so, so grateful. JazakAllah khair for listening.