Every day feels like a heavy test I can't bear anymore.

I've been struggling with physical and mental health issues since 2013, and now that I've just turned 30, I found out my father has advanced cancer that's reached his brain. My life feels empty: no close friends, no clear future, and constant pain from my symptoms-that alone is overwhelming. But alhamdulillah, I've always tried to stay grateful, made du'a, and focused on being content. Now, with my dad possibly passing away at only 58, I feel like I can't go on. Every night, I pray that Allah takes me in my sleep because I see no purpose anymore-just pain. I'm terrified of harming myself because I fear hellfire and don't want to add to my father's suffering, but where do I find hope? Life has shattered me. I know this dunya is full of trials, and I see other Muslims who seem to have peace in this life and the next, but sometimes I wonder why some of us are tested so intensely that we lose faith. I keep making du'a for strength and patience.