Difficult Decision About My Son's Care – Need Muslim Perspectives
As-salamu alaykum. I’m thinking about entrusting my 1-year-old son to my former in-laws… to be clear, not my ex-husband. Quick background: we were married a few years and now our son is with me here in the US. His father is in jail back in his home country for a drug-related offense; I don’t know how long he’ll be there. I can and do provide for our son - financially stable, emotionally steady, we have what he needs - and he’s the light of my life. Still, I wonder every day whether he would benefit from being raised surrounded by family. I’m totally alone here: no siblings, no close family, and only his nanny and me most days. I grew up in a similar situation and wouldn’t say it was ideal for me. My former in-laws were always kind and caring. My ex had several sisters with young children, his mother was very doting, and his father was a good man (even if I thought he was too lenient with his son). I truly believe they would raise him with love and good values - I also feel I married the black sheep of their family. I’m not asking about the standard fiqh rulings or general custody rules - I already know common guidance - but I’m looking for fellow Muslims who can share personal, heartfelt perspectives about what’s best for a child’s welfare in this kind of situation. He’s still so young that maybe the emotional transition would be easier now than later. If you’re a Muslim man or woman who ended up with full custody of a child, especially across countries, or you’ve placed a child with relatives, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience, practical advice, and how you weighed the child’s best interests. JazakAllahu khayran for any input.