Dealing with Health Struggles While Trying to Stay Close to Allah
Salam everyone, I need some advice. I used to be super healthy and active, excelling in my studies and never missing my five daily prayers. I had so many hopes for my future. But for the last five years, I've been dealing with some serious health problems-both physical and mental. I always feel exhausted, and my studies have really suffered. Doctors didn't take me seriously at first because my tests came back normal, but Alhamdulillah, I recently got diagnosed with scoliosis and mild arthritis in my lower back, even though I'm young. I'm waiting for an MRI now, but in the meantime, I'm in constant pain and can barely manage the basics. I can't figure out what's causing all this stiffness and back pain, and I can't sit for more than half an hour to do my university work. On top of that, I have really low iron levels that just won't go up. The brain fog is awful-I don't feel present in my own life anymore, and I've missed out on so many chances because of it. My grades are barely passing, and I can't remember or focus on anything. Seeing people my age move ahead makes me feel so stuck and behind. Honestly, sometimes I feel worthless and like I'm just a burden to my parents. The hardest part is how this affects my salah. I'm always tired and in pain, with no energy to even get out of bed or concentrate during prayer. I feel guilty complaining because I know I'm blessed in many ways, but it's like there's this weight on my mind holding me back. I recently completed my first Umrah, Alhamdulillah, and it gave me so much hope. I really want to grow closer to Islam and learn the Quran in English, but my brain just isn't cooperating. I don't enjoy anything anymore; I just wish I could feel normal again. I know Allah SWT is listening, but I'm feeling really discouraged after struggling for so long. I understand that praying on time, making istighfar, reading Quran, doing tahajjud, and learning about Allah are all good for me, but how do I stay consistent when my own health isn't on my side? Any advice would mean a lot-please help.