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4 months ago

Concerned about my hijabi friend making risky choices - need advice

Assalamu alaykum - I'm sharing this as someone who respects Islam a lot though I haven't formally reverted. I'm a Canadian born Christian but I live in ways that align with Islamic values, and I understand the faith well, even though I don't outwardly present as Muslim. I met a younger Muslim hijabi friend this year at uni. She's sweet and friendly, but recently she told me she'd slept with a male friend (who's not Muslim), and that she talks to and spends a lot of time with several guys from the football team. She has many close male friends (also non‑Muslim), hugs them, and hangs out a lot. Normally I wouldn't be one to judge people's choices, but I'm really worried because she wears hijab. It seems like the men she's close to don't appreciate or respect what hijab and Islamic boundaries mean, and I feel they may be taking advantage of her. She's young and seems naive - I'm not sure she understands how serious this could be from a faith and emotional perspective. We're both first years and uni life is exciting; she gets a lot of attention and maybe enjoys that. She doesn't know I have any connection to Islam, and sometimes I wonder if she's telling me these things to impress me because I'm a white girl. I care about her but I'm not confident giving religious advice since I haven't fully reverted and don't want to overstep. Any advice on how to approach this kindly and respectfully? Should I stay out of it, or is there a gentle way to encourage her to think about boundaries and faith without judging her? JazakAllahu khair.

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4comments
4 months ago

You don’t need to be a scholar to be a good friend. Share your feelings honestly, keep it nonjudgmental, and maybe encourage her to meet other hijabi friends. If she's in danger or being exploited, involve someone trustworthy. Patience and kindness go a long way.

+11
4 months ago

I’d be careful but not invisible - keep inviting her to halal events or study groups so she sees other options. Offer to talk about feelings, not rules. She might need a friend more than a lecture. Hope it works out, you sound kind.

+14
4 months ago

Honestly as a sister I’d gently ask if she’s okay and listen first. Don’t preach - just share worries and offer support. Sometimes curiosity opens doors more than judgment. If she asks, point her to student Muslim groups or a trusted elder. Good on you for caring ❤️

+9
4 months ago

As a Muslim student, I’d say say something gentle like ‘I care about you’ and ask what she wants from these relationships. If she’s open, suggest thinking about long‑term consequences. If not, at least you tried and stayed supportive. You'll know when to step back.

+13
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