Choosing the Straight Path While Struggling with Despair

As-salamu alaykum - I'm writing honestly because Allah knows I'm trying to improve. I struggle with an eating disorder, depression, and very strong suicidal thoughts. For a while I was texting a male friend who helped me cope with the eating issues, my depression, and social anxiety. Talking to him made it easier for me to do things I couldn't before. But I know that private contact with a non-mahram man is not permissible, so today I stopped those conversations. It would be easier to keep texting him, but I chose to cut it off because I want to obey Allah. Now I feel alone again. Of course I have tawakkul and faith in Allah, but I'm afraid I might harm myself because I'm so desperate. My life feels chaotic and like I don't matter - people barely notice if I'm gone. I'm 25, I have a job (Alhamdulillah for that), but I don't have a husband or a clear purpose, and I feel like a burden to my family because I'm not independent. I find myself always asking for help and needing reassurance. I try to rely on Allah, but I feel weak and unable to complete things properly. I know suicide is a sin and would have severe consequences, but living feels like its own kind of punishment. I hoped that leaving sinful behavior might ease my problems or open the way for rizq, so that's why I stopped the texting. I realize this might sound hopeless. I did speak to my GP about the eating disorder, but felt dismissed, and that makes me worry about my health. If anyone reading this can advise me on halal ways to get support - like a trustworthy female counselor, a Muslim support group, or a qualified therapist who understands Islamic values - I would be grateful. Also dua would mean a lot. Jazakum Allah khair.