Auto-translated

Brother Seeking Advice on Moving Forward After Renewing Faith - JazakAllah

Assalam Alaikum, I’m a young man studying in France, originally from an Arab country. Childhood wasn’t easy - my father was very strict though he cared, and my mother struggled with mental health when I was little. She was quite young when I was born and my father is much older than her. Growing up I often felt lonely and had some dark thoughts. I went through a really hard period and for about five years I cried a lot by myself, keeping it to myself. My maternal grandmother was a comfort to me but I only saw her a few times a year. Everyone knew my parents were serious, especially my mother. My grandmother used to try to talk to her and ask her to be gentler, but she couldn’t. Now with time I understand her anger and depression better. We never really spoke openly about these things with my parents, but it’s always been on my mind. In my youth I was often alone and struggled to make friends. Around 18–19 I started meeting new people and trusting some of them because I needed connection. Looking back, I made many mistakes then - getting involved in alcohol, parties, travel, and the like. I was trying to find happiness, move on, and enjoy life. But that didn’t fix the pain. I stayed depressed. Recently I’ve returned to my faith in Allah, and I’ve seen signs guiding me. I’ve spent months and years reflecting and processing everything, and I finally feel ready to change. I understand my parents more now and feel like we’re gradually reaching a better understanding. This feels like a new chapter, but I haven’t told anyone about it yet. I had plans with some friends, yet after thinking it over I realize our values don’t match, even if some of them mean well. I’m asking for advice - how should I move forward from here? What steps can I take to protect my faith, rebuild healthier relationships, and heal from the past? JazakAllah khair for any guidance.

+259

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

Auto-translated

Man, I went through similar stuff. Protecting faith meant pruning some friendships and saying no more. It’s hard but necessary. Find one trustworthy brother or mentor to check in with. Prayers and patience, insha'Allah.

+8
Auto-translated

Honestly, I’d write down boundaries with old friends and slowly distance. Replace hangouts with purposeful activities - volunteer, sports, or Islamic classes. Healing takes time, but routine and community keep you steady.

+4
Auto-translated

Bro, therapy + dua was the combo that worked for me. Also try journaling every night about what you’re grateful for. Keeps the mind focused on growth instead of old hurt. Keep reaching out when it feels heavy.

+5
Auto-translated

Keep learning - take an online course about mental health or Islam, meet people with similar values. Also check student counseling in your university in France, they can help more than you think.

+8
Auto-translated

Wa alaikum assalam bro, big step already admitting it. Start small: regular prayers, find a local masjid or study circle in France, and keep good company. Therapy helped me a lot too - doesn't mean weak. Take it one day at a time, you're doing great.

+15
Auto-translated

Glad you found your way back. Be patient with your parents and yourself. Small talks, shared meals, and forgiving yourself for past stuff will change the vibe slowly. Don’t rush the whole rebuild, tiny consistent steps win.

+3

Add a new comment

Log in to leave a comment