Be gentle with the advice you give to someone in pain - As-salamu alaykum

As-salamu alaykum. I’m going through an incredibly difficult period right now. This year has amplified my personal struggles - loss, fear, and a constant sense of uncertainty touching nearly every part of my life. The stress is showing physically and I honestly don’t think I’ve truly smiled in almost a year. I looked something up online and came across responses that really surprised me. Our deen reminds us we are imperfect. We experience anxiety, depression, and normal human reactions to hardship. We also live in a time where the whole world feels close; we see the suffering of our brothers and sisters everywhere and it can become overwhelming. What shocked me in some replies was how bluntly people said things like “toughen up,” “just accept it,” or even accused someone of sin when they asked for guidance while their faith was being tested. I read someone asking an amazing sister who’s caring for her sick mother if she was committing shirk. That kind of reaction felt harsh and hurtful. Some will say, “it’s shaytan,” and dismiss those feelings. But Islam encourages us to recognize and work through our emotions - through worship, dhikr, and also by seeking professional help and leaning on community support. I’m no scholar, but I speak to Allah every day - pleading, thanking, or simply marveling at small signs of His mercy. I have read hadith and reflected deeply. We get tested, we are refined, and we are forgiven. Calamities can expiate sins. Allah knows we will falter, feel abandoned, or forgotten. We are created human, and that is our reality. If someone drifts away from religion, our Lord is always ready to welcome them back with love and mercy. It’s been frustrating to see some of us respond without the mercy and compassion our faith emphasizes. When you reply to someone in hardship, try to empathize, consider their pain, and offer comforting words. Rather than pasting a few hadiths to imply it’s their fault or to dismiss them, show the beautiful qualities Allah commands us to reflect: mercy, kindness, compassion, and love. Encourage them to pray and talk to Allah, but also to take practical steps - tie the camel and trust Allah. Even a bit of dhikr or a short dua can be all someone can manage. Depression, grief, and anxiety are dark places; we should try to be lights for one another. And remember: appearances don’t equal perfect knowledge. Someone with a long beard or marks of worship isn’t automatically an expert in everyone’s struggle. Guidance is vast and personal - Allah speaks to each heart differently. Read, feel, and speak with Allah; relief and answers often come in ways we don’t immediately understand. People’s context - their history, culture, age, location, and current circumstances - shapes how they respond. May Allah make things easy for us, give us strength and resilience, and help us show mercy to one another.