Balancing Family Expectations with My Own Path

As a Muslim woman in my late twenties living in the West, I was raised in a conservative Middle Eastern home. Alhamdulillah, my parents provided me with a safe life, education, and all basic needs, but I always missed warmth and emotional connection from them. My father was distant, rarely involved in my life beyond surface-level talks, and wasn't kind to my mother, except financially. My mom, married very young, stayed in the marriage for my sister and me, especially after my sister passed away-may Allah have mercy on her. That loss led my mom to pour all her hopes into us, wanting us to excel and be 'perfect,' but it also meant strict control and emotional neglect. Through everything, I turned to Allah SWT, stayed obedient, and worked hard to move away for further studies after graduation. I hoped my parents would respect my preferences for a spouse-someone with a similar upbringing and education. But they ignored that, showing me unsuitable matches and blaming me for being 'picky' or 'too highly educated.' My dad even said investing in my education was a mistake and that I should marry 'beneath' myself to avoid problems, Astaghfirullah. Now, I've found a good Muslim brother from a different ethnicity, and my parents have reacted poorly. They want me to marry someone from their hometown, less educated, and leave my job to move back home. During Eid, they ambushed me with friends, lecturing that I'm 'brainwashed' by the West and need to sacrifice this relationship based on race alone. My father gave an ultimatum: choose them or him, threatening to cut ties. I feel isolated, but I know, after consulting Imams, that marrying him is Islamically permissible. I want my parents to understand that marrying outside my culture doesn't mean abandoning them or being disrespectful. I'm struggling to find a middle ground without harming my mental health or giving up a potential happy marriage just to please them. Any advice from the Muslim community would be appreciated.