Assalamualaikum - Feeling upset about gender expectations and family roles

Assalamualaikum, I’m a Muslim woman and I’ve been carrying a lot of resentment about how gender roles and expectations play out in my family and community. I don’t want this to sound like I’m attacking Islam - I’m asking because I feel stuck, angry, and unsure how to cope in a healthy, faith-preserving way. Since childhood I’ve noticed boys and girls are treated so differently. Boys get more freedom, independence, and space to grow. Girls are watched closely, commented on, sexualised, and often pushed early toward caregiving and motherhood. Even small things like toys and hobbies make it seem like my future was chosen before I had any say. I’ve felt this personally. My father openly stares at other women in public. Once he only realised I rode a bike because he was staring at “a beautiful girl” and then noticed it was me. Another time he watched a female friend’s body after we said goodbye. Those moments leave me uncomfortable and angry - like women are always under someone’s gaze, even by the men who are supposed to protect and guide us. At home I’m treated more like a future wife than a daughter. My father tells me he’s “training me to be a good wife,” and says a woman who cannot cook has no value, even if she’s accomplished in other ways. I’m expected to help constantly around the house while my brother can relax. When he’s asked to help, the work still somehow falls back on me, and I’m blamed if it isn’t done right. My brother speaks to me with an authority just because he’s male. My freedom is very limited. I’m not allowed to go out freely, my movements are tracked and timed, and I’ve been banned from seeing friends. It feels like I have no control over my life - like my role is reduced to nurturing and serving, regardless of my own goals or talents. I also struggle with how sacrifice is framed. Women are expected to give up huge amounts of time and bodily energy for pregnancy, childbirth, and child-rearing. These are long-term, real costs, but they’re often assumed to be the defining feature of being a woman rather than a choice. Men’s roles are usually described as providing and protecting - they still build skills, work, and remain individuals even without a family. Women are often expected to be dependent: financially or emotionally, structuring life around others instead of personal growth. It feels like womanhood is framed as self-sacrifice while manhood is framed as agency. One side loses time and physical capacity, the other gains autonomy and experience. This imbalance isn’t often admitted honestly, and it’s hard to reconcile with the belief that justice is central to our faith. I know Islam honours women and mothers, and that men and women have different roles. What I’m struggling with is how those roles are enforced in everyday life when they feel one-sided, unfair, and at odds with justice and mercy. I’m trying to figure out where Islam ends and culture begins. Is it Islamically correct for daughters to be treated like this? How is a woman supposed to handle this level of control and resentment without drifting away from her faith? I’m not rejecting Islam - I’m trying to understand how to reconcile my experience with the belief that Allah is Just. JazakAllahu khair for reading.