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Assalamu Alaikum - Will Allah forgive me for missing Fajr for many years?

Assalamu Alaikum. From about 13 to 24 I suffered a bad illness that ruined my sleep. I had severe insomnia and could barely wake for a normal school alarm, let alone Fajr. For that whole time I felt like a walking zombie. After a while I just told myself my health was the problem and accepted not waking for Fajr (I know that was wrong). I did, however, keep the other four prayers and never missed them on purpose. Alhamdulillah the illness eased a few years back and my sleep improved, but by then I’d gotten used to missing Fajr. For about two more years I skipped it even though I could have gotten up. My iman was low then; I wasn’t living openly sinful, but I stopped relying on Allah and lost hope - astagfirullah, it pains me to say that. A year ago a sudden trial turned my life upside down: I lost my health, means, and many comforts. Even my family was shocked. That hardship pushed me back to Allah and I learned more about tawakkul. I still struggled to make Fajr because I was falling asleep around 3–4 AM from another health issue, so I asked Allah to help me wake. He accepted my dua, and Alhamdulillah I’ve kept Fajr for two weeks now. My iman has lifted and I feel much more at peace even though I don’t have much right now. I trust Allah has a plan. I do, however, carry deep regret for all those years I missed Fajr. I accept that whatever happened was qadr and I’m grateful to Allah for guidance, but I wonder: if I had kept Fajr when my sleep improved, would my life be different? Would I have avoided that calamity or attained rizq sooner? I’m looking for advice and reminders - how should I deal with this regret and move forward? JazākAllāhu khayran.

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SubhanAllah, sister, your honesty moved me. Don’t drown in ‘what ifs’ - you’re back now and that counts. Keep building this habit slowly, and be gentle with yourself. Dua and consistent small steps will heal the regret, InshaAllah.

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Astagfirullah, that must’ve been so tough. Don’t let the past steal your peace - your return matters. Maybe keep a notebook of duas and small wins to remind yourself how far you’ve come. Praying for you, sister.

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I relate so much. Regret is heavy, but use it as fuel to stay consistent instead of proof you failed. Two weeks is a beautiful start. Make dua and keep it up, even if it’s hard some days. You’re doing great, really.

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Sister, your story reminds me that tests come in different forms. Stop blaming past you - learn from it and keep going. Maybe set a gentle alarm routine and ask a friend to check in. May Allah accept your efforts.

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Honestly I cried reading this. Been there with sleep problems too. You didn’t abandon Allah, illness made it hard. Focus on your sincere repentance and the Fajr you’re keeping now. That’s what matters most, wallahi.

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