Assalamu Alaikum - wedding plans causing pain, need advice

Assalamu Alaikum - My fiancée and I come from very different family styles. My family is large, very involved, and emotional about celebrating milestones. His family is the opposite: private, low-key, and not into big events. My family is also somewhat public and we’ve been to many weddings, plus we have a wide circle of family friends. His family mainly keeps to themselves and doesn’t have that same network. My family offered to cover most costs and handle things for the bride and groom across the events, while his family decided to skip some celebrations (no walima, no mehndi). We argued a lot because he wanted to make everything smaller and smaller. My parents are also taking the lead on planning and organizing. To try to respect his family’s wishes we removed many traditions, trimmed the guest list, changed venues, and simplified almost everything. We even took on about 95% of what the groom’s side would normally cover so they’d feel comfortable. He still calls it a “big wedding” because we’re using a banquet hall. He mentioned that the Prophet (peace be upon him) wouldn’t value status and that wrong is wrong. My dad spoke with him a couple of times to explain we’re doing our best to keep things modest, but as a public family we naturally know many people. What really hurt me was when he told me his oldest brother, whom he’s very close to and who lives abroad with his wife, has chosen not to attend because he believes big weddings aren’t Islamic and disagrees with them. I’m not angry, but I’m very sad. This is such an important moment in my life, and knowing someone so close to my husband-to-be won’t be there makes me feel hurt. Because he’s family I don’t want to say anything disrespectful, but I also couldn’t bring myself to speak to my fiancée all day today because of how upset I felt. Anyone have advice on how to handle this gently, keep respect for his brother’s view, and share my feelings without causing more tension? JazakAllah khair.