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Assalamu alaikum - Struggling with doubt and guilt

Assalamu alaikum. I’m almost in my 20s, born to Syrian Muslim parents but raised in Europe where most people around me are pretty secular. As a kid I fasted and sometimes prayed, not because anyone forced me but because it was what my family did and I believed along with them. Over the past few years I’ve drifted away from Islam. I’ve used alcohol and smoked and done other things I now see as major sins. I’ve also been diagnosed with depression and OCD, which complicates things, but I know I’m still responsible for my choices. I feel a lot of guilt, yet I’m unsure what’s true. I keep trying to read the Quran and look for answers online, but nothing feels convincing. Mostly I’m searching for proof of God’s existence and I don’t know why the guilt sticks with me. I’m asking for kind advice and support. How can I work through these doubts without being harsh on myself? Any suggestions on where to look for sincere explanations, how to balance mental health with faith, or steps to take if I want to come back to practicing would be really appreciated. JazakAllah khair for your kindness.

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Hey, I’m in my 20s too and raised abroad. OCD made everything feel louder for me. Try Islam-and-mental-health resources (look for local Muslim therapists or online groups). Proof of God can be a slow personal journey; allow curiosity, not pressure.

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Wa alaikum assalam sister - I relate. Take small steps, not perfection. Talk to a kind imam or a counselor who understands mental health and faith. Gentle routines (short dua, a little Quran) helped me when I doubted. Be patient with yourself, Allah sees struggle. You're not alone.

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As a fellow woman who’s struggled, I’ll say: guilt can be useful but also toxic. Separate remorse that motivates change from shame that paralyzes. Find a compassionate sister or group to chat with - community helped me move forward slowly.

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Assalamu alaikum - hearing your honesty is powerful. If you want proof, try experienced apologetics speakers but pair that with spiritual practices that calm you (dhikr, breathing, walking in nature). Balance mental health care with spiritual seeking.

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I had a similar drift and came back gradually. Don’t expect fireworks - little consistent acts mattered: making wudu, a short surah, or a morning dua. When doubts hit, write them down and search answers bit by bit. And pls be gentle with yourself.

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You’re brave for asking. Maybe read short tafsir or listen to gentle lectures by empathetic scholars (look for ones who speak about doubt). Also, be kind to your mind - meds or therapy aren’t shameful, they help you show up for your faith.

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Sending love. Don’t beat yourself up over past choices - focus on what you do tomorrow. Therapy + a trusted faith mentor helped me untangle guilt from real responsibility. Start with one private habit: a dua or two, and see how it feels.

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