Assalamu alaikum - Parents worry a revert won’t know enough about Islam or our culture
Assalamu alaikum, I’m a revert Muslim for about a year now. There’s a man I’m talking to (we’re keeping things halal) and we’ve started discussing marriage. He’s Pakistani, grew up Muslim, and his whole family follows the same traditions. I’m Vietnamese, my family are Buddhists, and I chose to revert on my own. Our cultures are very different and his family is quite traditional and strict about religion and customs. He was nervous to bring me up with his parents, and asked them, “What if I marry a woman who reverted and is from a different culture?” Their reply was basically that a revert woman doesn’t have as much knowledge of Islam as someone born into it. They worry that if we have children, a revert wife won’t be able to properly teach and raise them as Muslims because she lacks experience and deep background. They also said they prefer someone from their own culture to avoid conflicts and because a woman from outside their culture wouldn’t understand their ways. I’m really struggling with this. It feels like a lot of pressure on both of us. He’s hesitant to stand firm because he fears his family won’t accept it and feels obligated to follow their wishes. I’m losing hope and not sure what steps to take. I’d appreciate advice - what do you think of his parents’ concerns? How can we address their fears respectfully while staying true to our faith and our intentions for marriage? Any practical suggestions for building understanding between our families, strengthening my knowledge so they might feel more confident, or ways he can balance obeying parents with making his own choice would help. JazākAllāh khayr.