Salam.lifeSalam.life
BestNewFollowingCharity
BestNewFollowingCharity
© 2026 Salam.life
27 days ago

Assalamu Alaikum - Is it allowed to limit contact with my parents for my safety?

Assalamu Alaikum. I’m a Muslim girl close to legal adulthood and I need some advice. My university choice is in my home country where I have supportive adult siblings nearby. Becoming financially independent after uni is crucial because my parents plan to marry me off as soon as I graduate and won’t let me work or earn. They expect me to stay under their control at home. Where I’m originally from, forced marriage, heavy stigma around divorce, and women being forced to tolerate abuse are common. I’ve seen this in my family and extended community. My parents dismiss forced marriage and have justified abusive behaviour. This makes me fear for my safety and future. Religion is used selectively by them to demand obedience and shame me, while clear Islamic limits (for example, forced marriage being impermissible) are ignored. Refusing while dependent isn’t realistic because they’d blackmail me. Living with them has meant long-term physical and psychological abuse, coercive control, and ongoing fear. Things might be slightly better now, but the underlying dynamics haven’t changed and staying in contact keeps exposing me to harm. They’re not against university itself but insist I study locally under their supervision and keep living at home. I can’t accept that. Studying locally would trap me in dependence, keep my choices controlled, and leave me vulnerable to forced marriage. The local universities they prefer also have poor prospects for financial independence. I don’t care exactly what career I end up in - I just want shelter, food and some savings so I can be safe. They’ve been forcing me toward degrees they think raise my “value” for marriage, and say education isn’t important for girls because they should stay home. My mother even tells us staying in abusive marriages is fine because Allah will reward patience. Meanwhile, the household problems have harmed my younger siblings and made them resent religion as something tied to control in our family. I’m also afraid that if I leave against their wishes, my younger siblings could suffer retaliation. My parents have blackmailed my older sister before by threatening harm to us, and she complied to protect us. I don’t know how extreme they might go, but they are capable of violence. Financially, my parents could support me but refuse. I qualify for financial aid, so money isn’t the only issue. If I move out to study I’ll rely on grants, scholarships, student loans and then a part-time job; the university requires paid summer internships so I’d have some income. My older siblings have agreed to help as much as they can. Other female relatives aren’t viable options. If I stay in contact while trying to become independent, they’ll likely guilt-trip, threaten or blackmail me based on past patterns. For these reasons, I’m considering low-contact or no-contact for a time. I don’t want to cut ties with my younger siblings - I want to be there for them and support them in future. Questions: - Is it Islamically permissible to distance myself or go no contact with parents when staying in contact endangers my safety and independence? - How can I protect my faith when my parents have used religion to convince me I’m wrong? JazakAllah khair for any guidance. TL;DR: I’m a Muslim girl near adulthood. My parents insist I study locally and live at home, which would keep me dependent and vulnerable to coercion and forced marriage. There’s long-term abuse and religion is manipulated against me. I can move to study elsewhere with siblings’ support and financial aid, but may need low/no contact for safety.

+332

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

7comments
27 days ago

You’re doing the right thing by planning for independence. Protecting your life and deen is priority. Explain boundaries calmly, document any threats, and get legal/uni support if needed. Don’t let them gaslight you with religion. Love and dua from me.

+17
27 days ago

Short and real: your safety > their control. Cut contact if needed, but keep it practical - emergency contacts, trusted people who know your situation. Find a counselor at uni. You're allowed to prioritize survival and future.

+18
27 days ago

I’d talk to a knowledgeable, compassionate scholar or counselor who condemns forced marriage and abuse. It helped me reconcile faith with my boundaries. You're not abandoning Islam by protecting yourself. You’re protecting the life Allah gave you.

+9
27 days ago

I know how scary this is. Your plan to study elsewhere with aid and sibling support sounds smart. Don’t wait until things escalate. Set clear boundaries, involve trusted adults or uni welfare, and keep up your prayers. You’re allowed to protect yourself, sister.

+9
27 days ago

Been there emotionally - sometimes silence is the only way to survive. Islam doesn't demand staying in harm. Low contact while you build independence sounds reasonable. Keep dua and lean on the siblings who offered help. Sending strength and dua.

+11
27 days ago

This hits hard. If staying with them truly risks your safety and future, protecting yourself is allowed. You can maintain respect while keeping distance. Stay with supportive siblings and keep records of threats. Prayers and a local imam who understands domestic abuse might help too. Stay safe, sister.

+16
27 days ago

Please be careful but firm. If they threaten siblings, plan safe ways to support them without exposing yourself. Low contact can be temporary until you’re stable. Keep evidence of abuse and any blackmail - it can matter later. You deserve safety and dignity.

+3
By platform rules, comments are available only to users with the same gender as the post author.

Log in to leave a comment

Best posts

3h ago

Ramadan and my mental energy

+31
16h ago

Seeking ideas to support my husband during Ramadan (as a non-Muslim spouse)

+175
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations

17h ago

My First Ramadan as Someone New to Islam

+182
17h ago

A question about Islam from someone exploring faith

+177
16h ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+154
22h ago

Seeking ideas to support my husband during Ramadan (as a non-Muslim spouse)

+224
20h ago

New Muslim Here: Feeling Lonely During Ramadan

+199
16h ago

Hamas condemns Israeli strike on Lebanon refugee camp

Hamas condemns Israeli strike on Lebanon refugee camp
+127
18h ago

UAE and Bahrain send 100 tonnes of aid to Gaza for Ramadan relief

UAE and Bahrain send 100 tonnes of aid to Gaza for Ramadan relief
+126
23h ago

Is it okay to change at the mosque?

+174
1d ago

Iftar for the families of the defenders of the Fatherland in Dagestan

Iftar for the families of the defenders of the Fatherland in Dagestan
+350
1d ago

New Muslim Here: Feeling Lonely During Ramadan

+184
14h ago

Tensions Rise: US Considers Strikes as Iran Denies Zero-Enrichment Demand

Tensions Rise: US Considers Strikes as Iran Denies Zero-Enrichment Demand
+71
1d ago

UN Report Details Shocking Abuse in Global Scam Trafficking

UN Report Details Shocking Abuse in Global Scam Trafficking
+205
1d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+349
1d ago

UAE Minister Stresses Need for Dignified Solution in Gaza Despite Progress

UAE Minister Stresses Need for Dignified Solution in Gaza Despite Progress
+269
1d ago

My First Ramadan Experience

+156
1d ago

Was the one you prayed to marry the one you ended up with?

+277
1d ago

When Ramadan Gets Too Heavy: My Struggle with Anxiety and Depression

+271
1d ago

UAE Humanitarian Aid for Gaza During Ramadan

UAE Humanitarian Aid for Gaza During Ramadan
+291
🌙

Welcome to the Salam.life!

🌐

AI translation of posts and comments into 30+ languages

👥

Separate feeds for Brothers and Sisters plus haram filter

💚

Charity projects from trusted Islamic foundations