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Assalamu alaikum - I can't sleep because of my parents' habits

Assalamu alaikum. I have a 9-5 job (my first one) and I'm still adjusting, especially since commuting takes a long time. I'm usually getting home around 7:30–8pm and need to rest before the next day. The issue is my parents, especially my mother, don’t respect my sleep. It’s getting so bad that I sometimes feel hopeless. For context, I have diagnosed anxiety and depression - I’ve tried medication and therapy before, though I’m not on meds right now. I’m struggling to stay well while keeping this job. My mother wakes up to pray in the night and tends to turn on most of the lights in the house. The living room light spills into my room, and I need it cold, dark, and quiet to sleep. She also opens my door for no reason and wakes me up; when I ask her not to and explain I have work early, she shuts the door but then opens it again. They also turn the AC off because they feel they need to, which makes me wake up hot and sweaty. The AC systems are linked between my room and my parents’ rooms, so it affects me directly. I’ve asked her many times why she does this because it’s making me angry and worsening my anxiety - after 3am I’m often unable to get back to sleep whenever she does this. My mom just stays silent and the cycle repeats. I’m asking for advice. How can I communicate this in a way that respects family ties and Islamic manners, but also protects my health and sleep? I really just want to be able to sleep like any other person so I can do my job and manage my mental health. JazakAllah khair for any practical suggestions.

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This is tough, sister. I recommend a short dua in the morning for patience and then practical fixes: eye mask, earplugs, and maybe a doorstop sign that says 'Sleeping for work'. If talking fails, involve a calm family member. Prioritize your health, it's not disrespectful.

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As-salamu alaykum, been there. Could you try a simple note on your door in Arabic/English explaining your work hours and need for darkness? Sometimes a gentle visible reminder helps more than talking at 3am. Also earplugs and a sleep mask helped me a lot. Sending dua for ease ❤️

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I feel you. White noise machine + blackout curtains changed my nights. If AC is linked, try a fan in your room and breathable sheets so you don't wake from heat. Also tell her it's not personal, it's about sleep and health - repeat gently till it sinks in.

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Salam sister, could you ask a trusted older relative to mediate? Sometimes parents hear different when another family member explains. And maybe offer to help with night prayer setup so she doesn't need to switch lights for you both.

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Ugh that lack of respect is so hard on mental health. I used a polite text message at 2am once (so it was visible) saying "Please don't open my door, I have work early." Weirdly it worked a couple nights. Small steps. Keep protecting your sleep, you're allowed to.

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Oh hun, that sounds so exhausting. Maybe set a calm time to talk after Maghrib when she's relaxed - bring tea, state your needs kindly and ask for a small compromise like keeping living room light off until after 3am. Mention health and work - parents usually respond to that.

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