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3 months ago

Assalamu alaikum - How can I apologise without crossing any boundaries?

Assalamu alaikum, I hope everyone is well. I'm sorry for posting this as a non-Muslim and if anything I say is disrespectful please tell me - moderators you can remove this if needed. I'm Zoroastrian and I truly mean no offence. There's a Muslim man at my school I was briefly involved with (I'm a woman, just to clarify). He is very popular and I wanted to be friends; at the time I didn't know much about Islam. For his birthday I got him a gift, and he made it clear we couldn't be together or date. I asked if we could at least be friends and he agreed, nothing more. I respected that and intended to be just friends. Later we talked about religion and he said my faith was false and corrupted and that it shouldn't exist. He told me several times he believed I belong in hell. That hurt, but I tried to accept it as his way of explaining his beliefs - I actually think Islam is beautiful. After that he started ignoring me at school and online, but occasionally he'd text saying I'm the reason he was sinning and that I belong in hell. Whenever I apologised he claimed every message I sent was another sin. I also heard he laughed about how I reacted to his friends while I was desperately apologising. He says he can't speak to the opposite gender, yet I saw him chatting freely with many women. I don't want to sound jealous, but his behaviour toward me versus others felt inconsistent. So my question is: how can I tell him I'm sorry in a way that doesn't put him in a situation he believes is sinful? I understand the limits he has about speaking to women, but I genuinely want to apologise for any role I played when he says he was sinning because of our interactions. Jazakum Allahu khairan for any advice - I pray you are all safe and well. Again, I'm sorry for posting this if it's inappropriate and please let me know or remove it if needed.

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