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4 months ago

Assalamu Alaikum - He's Not of My Faith and It's Breaking Me Slowly

Assalamu alaikum, I just need to get this off my chest because my heart feels so heavy. There's a man I know who isn't Muslim, yet he has so many qualities I deeply admire. He's helpful, confident, charismatic - such an authentic and gentle person. He doesn't judge others and always seems to know what to say or do to comfort someone or help find a solution. He's so inspiring; it amazes me that someone like him exists. It's rare to meet a person who feels so right and wise in so many ways. I feel, deep down, that I'll probably never meet someone like him again and that thought hurts. At the same time I understand my limits and my faith, and I know what is allowed for me. Still, it's not something I can simply switch off. I've never loved anyone before or crossed boundaries - I always keep my limits. When I say I've never been interested in someone, I mean it. This is the first time I've felt this close to someone. I've been praying every day for peace and for my heart to be eased. Yesterday, when I got home, I broke down and cried until I felt like I couldn't breathe - the pain was overwhelming. I also get very jealous thinking that one day someone else might be with him and it won't be me. I'll have to move on and pretend I never wished it could be me, but I wanted to at least admit it here. I also feel the urge to tell him face to face just to see his reaction, even though I already suspect how it would end. Maybe I will tell him. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but this situation even made me question my own religion once, and I'm scared that could happen again. JazakAllahu khayran for reading my vent and thank you for any advice, support, or dua.

+279

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6comments
4 months ago

Girl, crying is allowed. Let it out and don’t beat yourself up. If telling him will make you feel closure, be cautious and protect your boundaries. Dua’s with you.

+8
4 months ago

You’re brave for admitting this. Maybe channel the energy into things that soothe you - friends, prayer, hobbies. Time helps, even if it doesn’t feel like it now.

+10
4 months ago

I can feel your pain. It’s okay to grieve someone you never had. Keep praying and maybe talk to a trusted sister or imam for support - helped me a lot before.

+8
4 months ago

Oh hun, this hits hard. Been there - the heart wants what it wants but faith and boundaries matter. Sending duas and a big virtual hug. You’re not weak for feeling this, just human.

+4
4 months ago

Ugh I relate so much. That jealous sting is brutal. Remember you’re doing the right thing by holding to your limits - that takes strength, not weakness.

+7
4 months ago

If you do tell him, keep it short and kind, then step back. Protect your heart first. And yes, dua and sister support are lifesavers. Sending peace your way.

+5
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