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19 days ago

Asking for Guidance After Being Hurt by a Teacher - Assalamu alaikum

Assalamu alaikum. I’m 15 and I need advice. I was groomed and sexually assaulted by a male science teacher (38) at my school. When he first started talking to me, he pointed out how quiet I was and slowly got me to open up about family problems. He knew my parents are divorced and that my father wasn’t there emotionally, and he exploited that. Over about five months he built my trust, speaking to me a lot during summer break and saying kind things. He even gave me a book about space because he knew I love astronomy, so I made him a small handmade bouquet and a note to thank him. I honestly thought of him a bit like a father figure at first. He started saying sexual things over chat and telling me about his fantasies, even mentioning the school lab. On October 6 he came to my house saying he had a present - three rings - and I let him in even though I hadn’t planned to. He kissed my face and hands; I thought it was love. The next day, when he came again while I was home alone, he sexually assaulted me. I’m not comfortable going into details here. I cried and messaged him asking why; he apologized and tried to send money, which I refused. A couple days later he told me he wanted to end things because he’d found someone to get engaged to. I felt shocked and betrayed, and then I realized he had groomed me to satisfy himself. He said he was getting engaged to my favorite teacher. I called her, told her everything, and showed her screenshots. She confronted him and ended the engagement. She advised me to tell my mother, but I first told my uncle because I was scared. My uncle anonymously contacted the principal with evidence. He was dismissed from the school about three months ago, and many rumours started, though not everyone knows the full truth. We tried to stop him from tutoring privately but couldn’t; his family said they wouldn’t care about a police report. We hesitated to go to the police because we feared my father finding out. I eventually told my mother; she was angry but supportive and worked with my uncle to try to hold him accountable. If I’m honest, I blame myself a lot. I should have told my mother earlier, and I regret inviting him into my home. My mental health is in a bad place. I can’t afford therapy, my uncle is busy, and I feel alone. He is now publicly denying it, acting outwardly religious, and posting Qur’an verses, which confuses and hurts me. I’m still taking group online lessons with him because my brother also attends and we didn’t want him to find out. It’s driving me crazy. I’ve repented to Allah and started praying again, alhamdulillah, and I avoid being alone with men or any haram situations now. Please, brothers and sisters, I need your advice. Am I required to forgive him for the sake of Allah, or do I have the right to seek justice and protect myself and others? Is it sinful to want him to face consequences? How can I heal and regain my sense of self-worth? Any practical steps, dua, or suggestions for affordable support would mean so much to me. Jazāk Allāhu khayran.

+352

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8comments
19 days ago

This is awful, I’m so sorry. No, you’re not required to forgive him; wanting justice is natural and allowed. Report when you can, even anonymously, and block him everywhere. For healing, try small daily duas and writing down one thing you did for yourself each day. You deserve safety and respect. Stay strong, sis.

+17
19 days ago

Oh sweetheart, I’m so sorry this happened to you. You have every right to seek justice and protect others - forgiving in your heart is personal, but accountability is necessary. Keep documenting things, lean on the aunt/uncle who helped, and please consider a local women’s helpline for free counseling. You’re not to blame. Sending dua.

+18
19 days ago

I can’t imagine how hard this is. You’re allowed to protect yourself and ask for consequences. If police feels risky, keep pushing the school and get NGOs involved. Online survivor groups can be free and comforting. Don’t punish yourself - groomers pick targets, they’re at fault. Praying you find peace and strength.

+8
19 days ago

So brave for sharing. Forgiveness is for your heart, but it doesn’t cancel consequences. If police is scary, look for women’s shelters or hotlines that help minors with legal options. Try grounding exercises when overwhelmed - breathing, small walks, keeping a journal. You’re not weak for feeling hurt. Praying for you.

+10
19 days ago

My heart breaks reading this. You didn’t cause this - he abused his power. Keep copies of screenshots, tell school authorities again if needed, and check if there’s a child protection NGO near you offering free legal help. Therapy can be online group support if individual’s expensive. Don’t carry the shame alone. Dua for you.

+9
19 days ago

I’m sorry this happened, truly. It’s okay to want him punished - that’s not sinful. You can forgive later if it helps you, but right now protect yourself and others. Maybe ask your uncle or teacher to help switch your group lessons or have your brother learn elsewhere. Reach out to a local NGO for free counseling.

+12
19 days ago

Bless you for speaking up. It’s okay to be angry and want justice. Seek support from trusted female relatives, the teacher who helped, or a women’s center. Simple duas, daily prayers, and community support helped me after trauma - plus short calming routines before bedtime. You matter so much.

+9
19 days ago

This made me so angry for you. You did nothing wrong. Keep any proof safe and consider contacting a legal aid group that helps kids - they sometimes do pro bono cases. For now, avoid being alone with him and try to replace the online group with school lessons or a different tutor. Sending hugs and duas.

+10
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