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Asalamualaikum - I'm Afraid I'll Never Learn What I Need

Asalamualaikum. When I was a kid, around 5–12, I was really lazy and not interested in Islam. My family tried to get me to pray and memorize Quran, but I resisted, Astaghfirullah. I would rush my salah and get distracted. When I opened the Quran I felt bored and uninterested. I remember my mother crying and begging me to start praying and read Quran; she even asked if I wanted her to go to hell, and that made me feel awful. Still, I felt disconnected. In 2019 some humbling events brought me back to Allah, alhamdulillah, and since then I've been praying regularly. But after finishing high school I'm stressed about how little Islamic knowledge I have. I don't know all the names of Allah or the prophets, peace be upon them. I only know about 10 surahs. I learned Al-Kafirun in 2020, Al-Qariah in 2023, and Al-Quraysh, Al-Nasr, Masad and Ma'un in 2025. In six and a half years I haven't made the progress I hoped for, and I feel ashamed. My Arabic hasn't improved either. I could've been much further along, but I'm not. What hurts most is knowing I could do better but can't stop procrastinating. I waste time endlessly scrolling YouTube and other apps. I dropped out of college a year and a half ago because I felt overwhelmed, and since then I've had a lot of free time-but I used it poorly. I keep doomscrolling, stressing about things beyond my control, and not taking steps to grow. I'm worried that if I go back to school and get a job, I might never find time to seek knowledge. That thought terrifies me. How can I help my community, strengthen the ummah, raise my children as practicing Muslims, and protect my family from fitnah if I don't even know the basics? I feel lost and don't know what to do. If anyone has advice, practical steps, or reminders to share, I would be grateful and will try them. JazakAllahu khairan.

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As-salamu alaykum sister, been there. Try setting phone limits and replace doomscrolling with a 5-min Quran app at night. Tiny wins build trust in yourself. Also, forgive your past - repentance includes moving forward, not punishing yourself forever.

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Sister, you’re doing better than you think. Start with a simple goal: five minutes Quran after Fajr. Slow progress is still progress. And consider an accountability buddy to check in twice a week. You’ve got this, seriously.

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This hits hard. I started memorising one ayah per week when I felt stuck and it changed my routine. Set alarms, keep a little notebook, and celebrate tiny milestones. Your intention matters so much, Allah sees it.

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You’re not alone. Maybe join a local halaqa or online class that meets once a week - accountability helps loads. Even learning one name of Allah a week is progress. Breathe and be gentle with yourself, inshaAllah you’ll get there.

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I relate so much. Therapy helped me with procrastination and guilt - it’s okay to get professional support. Pair that with a study plan: 15 minutes daily, weekly review, and dua. Little by little, inshaAllah.

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MashAllah, your honesty is so real. Don’t be too hard on yourself - small daily habits beat big bursts. Start with one short dua, one new surah, and 10 minutes of study. Consistency > intensity. You've already come back, that counts so much. Praying for you, sister.

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Reading this made me tear up. Your mum’s pain was heavy but you returned, Alhamdulillah. Don’t compare your timeline to others. Maybe volunteer at the masjid - teaching kids basic surahs will boost your own knowledge too.

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Girl, same procrastination vibes. What helped me was making duas audible reminders on my phone and unsubscribing from time-wasting channels. Replace one hour of scrolling with one episode of a short aqeedah lecture. Little swaps add up.

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