As-salamu alaykum - Mental health, success, and family (Long post.. sorry)

As-salamu alaykum. I don’t usually write much, but life’s been heavy lately and I need to get this out. I come from a large family, and for most of my childhood I felt neglected by my mother while my dad worked long hours to provide. Even though we lived under the same roof, I rarely felt like I had a mother. As I grew up I learned to bottle everything up and ended up in serious depressive episodes around 18. Back then I wasn’t practicing at all and I fought depression on my own for months until I even tried to take my own life. After that my parents took me to a psychiatric facility and I stayed for about a month. While I was there I experienced sexual abuse from staff and other patients. Male staff would walk in while I was showering, and people would sneak into my room while I slept. I never let them get close emotionally, but they still saw more than they should have. I’ve never told anyone about this before, and the older I get the heavier it feels to carry it alone. Years went by and the depression kept coming. Everyone at home knew I wasn’t okay but no one really tried to get me proper help-no meds, no therapy, nothing. Eventually my parents thought taking me back home would help “rebuild” me. Even then, no one suggested mosque activities, community lectures, or real support. So I stayed with them for a year with no Islamic connection and sank back into depression until I decided to turn my energy toward learning about Islam. I started reading the Qur’an daily, praying on time, and waking before Fajr to pray. I began to feel a purpose again and wanted to rebuild my life. When I returned to the US I jumped between jobs until I found work in a small clinic. I was doing 9–5 shifts but the pay wasn’t great, so I decided to go back to school without telling my parents because they weren’t supportive. After months of long hospital shifts to pay for classes, I graduated top of my class, passed my boards, and accepted a position in the cardiovascular ICU at a respected hospital in my state. A year before I graduated I got engaged to a man I liked. My condition was that we have at least 2–3 months to get to know each other before marriage. My parents agreed at first, but after the engagement they became very strict about visits. He was only allowed to come once a week, and my mother wasn’t welcoming to him. The limited time together hurt the relationship - he began to lose interest and I discovered things about him I didn’t like. I tried hard to make it work because he was kind, but our connection felt strong only when we were together and disappeared once he left. I called off the engagement because I felt it wouldn’t work. I started having anxious feelings and bad dreams about him. After the separation my father told me that many men had asked for my hand over the years since I was 18, but he never told me because he wanted me to focus on school and my career. That news made me feel robbed. I should have had the right to choose when to pursue education and when to start a family. Ever since I was a little girl my dream was to be a mother, and I feel like that chance was taken from me. Now I’m 30. I’ve done well in my career and education, but there’s still an emptiness. Most people my age have families of their own and sometimes I fear I’ll never have that chance. I’m consistent with my prayers, I attend the mosque, volunteer, and stay involved in the community when I can. I’m financially stable, but I still feel lonely and the possibility of never becoming a mother breaks my heart. I had dreams, like every other girl. If anyone has been through something similar - dealing with depression, reclaiming faith, balancing career and the desire for family - I’d appreciate hearing how you coped and what helped you find peace. JazakAllahu khair.