As-salamu alaykum - I want to take off my hijab but I'm scared

As-salamu alaykum, I'm 19F and I was forced to start wearing hijab at 7. I was bullied a lot in a mostly white class, so for years I used to secretly take it off at school and only put it back on right before coming home. When I was 17 I actually began to love the hijab. I learned how to style it, made sure it covered my hair, neck, chest and even ankles. I wore oversized modest clothes, often way too big, with skirts down to my ankles and leggings underneath. I was more covered than many Muslim women around me and I felt proud of how I looked. Even so, my guardian kept criticizing me. They'd say I'm not modest enough or that my hijab was wrong, sometimes just because they didn't like the fabric - I often wore chiffon. I always wore full coverage underneath, but they'd dismiss that. We argued a lot; they accused me of wearing it to please them, not for Allah. I even tried wearing a niqab for a bit, partly because I hate my face and partly because I wanted to get closer to Allah. My guardian stopped that immediately, saying I was 'doing too much' and insecure. Some fights got so bad my guardian even made a dua that I take my hijab off completely. Now I worry that dua is coming true, because I find myself hating the hijab. I'm trying to fall in love with it again, but it doesn't feel spiritual anymore - it just reminds me of the arguments, pressure and hurt. I don't mean I want to give up modesty. I still want to wear long skirts, leggings and loose clothing that cover my body, it's just the hair covering that's become unbearable. I want to take it off temporarily, learn to love it sincerely, then put it back when my intention is 100% for Allah. Right now I feel like I'm doing it for my guardian, and I fear that intention is wrong. I'm terrified of my guardian - they might beat me or disown me if I take it off, and I don't even know how to start a conversation about this. I'm so conflicted: I want to do what's right but I feel trapped and lost. I'm asking for guidance and support on how to reconnect with hijab sincerely, or at least how to handle this safely while I figure out my true intention. Please no judgment, just advice and dua. May Allah guide me, insha'Allah.