as-salamu alaykum - i'm shy around Allah after my dua was accepted
As-salamu alaykum. I want to share something that still feels surreal to me, Alhamdulillah. I made a sincere dua in sujood and cried. At the time I was feeling really hopeless because I didn’t get the scholarship I had applied for. A few weeks later a friend told me about a different scholarship that covers full tuition. I applied and a week after applying I was awarded it. Alhamdulillah. I also prayed taahajud once or twice for it, but that first time when I cried and made the dua it wasn’t at any special time - it was just me in sujood pouring my heart out. Now I feel shy when I say, hear, or even see His name. I get embarrassed sometimes when I stand to pray. It’s a strange mix of gratitude and awe, like I’m small in front of Him. The way I found out about the scholarship was kind of spontaneous. I sit next to a sister in class - we only know each other from group work. I remember thinking about asking how she was paying tuition, then I stopped myself because I thought, “I don’t want to rely on people, I want to rely only on Allah SWT.” I whispered to myself “hassbiyAllahu wa nimal wakeel” - I only really knew it as “Allah is sufficient for me” but when I looked up the full meaning “He is the best disposer of affairs” I almost cried, SubhanAllah. We walked out of class together and, wallahi, she brought the scholarship up herself and asked if I’d applied. The rest is history. Alhamdulillah. I still feel shy, but more than anything I feel humbled and thankful. Just wanted to share in case anyone else feels this mix of emotion after seeing a dua answered.