As-salamu alaykum - I Love Him but I'm Worried I'm Overlooking Red Flags

As-salamu alaykum, I’m a Muslim woman and I’ve been with my partner for about two years. I truly thought we’d get married - we work in the same field, shared ambitions, and used to imagine building a decent Islamic home together. He even switched careers to join mine (I never asked him to), which made me feel like we were on the same page. There were real good moments. He could be caring, seemed driven, talked about deen, marriage, family, and our future. I’ve put in my heart, time, and faith into this. But over time things started to feel wrong. Whenever I said I was hurt or uncomfortable, he would either defend himself and tell me I’m misunderstanding things, or shut down completely and tell me to stop talking. In arguments he often threatened to withdraw - ignoring me, distancing himself, or saying he’d avoid me if he stayed angry. Because of that I stopped feeling safe bringing up hard topics; I’d hold back, knowing I might be left alone emotionally. He’s cursed at me during fights and insulted me, later justifying it by blaming me for staying. He’s even told me at times he doesn’t want to marry me. After conflicts we rarely addressed or repaired what happened - we’d act like it didn’t occur, and the same issues would come up again. I’m usually the one trying to fix things, even when I’m the one hurt. A recent big issue involved money and expectations for marriage. He said after marriage he would cover rent, groceries, gifts, and send money to his family - and that my money would be “100% mine.” Then he suggested that instead of spending on things like abayas, I should put money toward buying a house so we could live in it. He called it “just a suggestion,” not forcing me, but it made me very uncomfortable. A house is much more expensive than regular expenses. It felt like my finances were being decided before marriage. When I asked about it, he got defensive and focused on saying he wasn’t forcing me, rather than listening to why it felt wrong. The conversation ended with him angry and telling me to go sleep. There are other things too: - He questions why I want to visit friends or go out, which makes my world feel smaller. - He treats my independence like it’s unnecessary. - He’s said things like “if you’re the wife, who’s going to cook?” even though he knows I dislike cooking, dismissing other possibilities. - I feel more anxious, confused, and drained after conflicts. - I walk on eggshells around him. What scares me is comparing who he is now to who he used to be. I’m afraid to leave because I don’t know if I’ll ever find the good parts again - the shared dreams, ambition, emotional connection, and the hope of building an Islamic life together. At the same time, I’m starting to be afraid of him, and afraid of myself for possibly ignoring my instincts. Am I overreacting because I’m attached and emotional, or am I finally seeing things I didn’t want to admit? I would appreciate honest advice, especially from those who’ve gone through something similar or can speak to this from an Islamic perspective. May Allah guide me to what’s best - I’m trying to do my best too.