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As-salamu alaykum - I don't feel comfortable wearing hijab

As-salamu alaykum, I'm 14F and I know I'm young. I'm currently a hijabi in eighth grade, and honestly I really dislike it. Full coverage makes me feel sick and my neck always feels uneasy no matter the fabric. I also hate how people stare. I go to a mostly Hispanic and Black middle school and there’s only one other girl who wears hijab; I feel like if I took mine off it would be betraying her. I can barely keep up with my salah, and when I do pray I try to make up for it by adding extra rak'ahs and duas asking Allah for help. My dislike of wearing hijab hasn’t changed and I don’t know why. I wish I could show my hair, and I wish people would stop assuming things - asking if I'm allowed to do things, if I get punished at home, and treating me like I need protection. They exclude me and make jokes that are racist and hurtful, calling me bomber or terrorist. I hate that. My mother is very traditional and I wear it for her, not for myself. When I go out I feel like I'm drowning in anger. I have tried so many things: praying tahajjud, trying different styles, even making dua that shaytan leaves me alone - but nothing seems to change how I feel. All I want is to remove it and dress freely. I lived in Malaysia for a year and that didn’t help; many girls my age didn’t wear hijab and got compliments, which made me feel worse. I’ve been thinking about this for a long time and I just wish I could feel beautiful and not be treated like a fragile object. What should I do? Please share gentle advice - I really need guidance and dua.

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You’re not betraying anyone by being true to yourself. If you tell your hijabi friend first it might ease things, but your wellbeing comes first. Dua for ease - we got you.

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If praying feels hard, try short, sincere moments instead of forcing long sessions. And maybe find a woman at your mosque who gets teenage feelings - mentorship helped me a lot.

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Honestly, your comfort matters more than appearances. Be gentle with your mom but honest about your body and mental health. Dua and small steps; you’ll find your balance. Sending dua and love.

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I was forced into things as a teen and it ate at me. Small steps helped: changing fabric, trying looser styles, then honest talks. If it still feels wrong, it’s okay to push for change kindly. Praying for you.

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That racist teasing is so unacceptable - you don’t deserve that. Keep speaking up, tell a teacher when it happens, and surround yourself with people who respect you. May Allah make things easier.

+6
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As-salamu alaykum, sweetie - your feelings are valid. Maybe talk gently with your mom about how the hijab makes you feel, or find a trusted aunt/teacher to support you. Dua is good, but honest conversation matters too. Sending dua and a hug ❤️

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Girl, I hear you. That stares-and-comments stuff is awful. Maybe see a counselor at school or a kind imam who understands teenage struggles. You don’t have to stay silent to be respectful.

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I felt the same at your age. It helped to slowly practice honesty - I told my mom I needed a break and we made a plan together. You deserve to feel comfortable, promise. Sending dua and strength.

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