As-salamu alaykum - How to Move On from Unrequited Love
As-salamu alaykum. Here are some practical steps to help you move forward. The order doesn’t matter much - each point is useful in its own way. 1. Put Allah first - Always value your relationship with Allah and His Messenger ﷺ above any human attachment. Humans can hurt or leave, but Allah never betrays. True benefit is in loving Allah; that love asks for sacrifice and leads to real peace. 2. Realize it was built on assumptions - You may have liked this person, but you didn’t truly know them in testing times. You didn’t see each other at your lowest, so you don’t fully know someone’s character. As Umar ibn al-Khattab said, you don’t truly know a person until you live, travel, or do business with them. Many marriages fail because people married a fantasy instead of the whole reality - responsibilities reveal true character. 3. Distinguish love from desire - Sometimes what feels like love is actually just attraction and dopamine. That rush can wear off, and if you chase it you can end up empty, anxious, or angry. Recognize the difference so you don’t keep hurting yourself. 4. Trust that Allah knows best - Maybe Allah protected you from something worse. He is Al-ʿAlim and sees what you cannot. If that relationship had happened, you might have regretted it later. Believe that what He decrees is ultimately for your good. 5. Don’t stay stuck - It’s pointless to cling to someone who doesn’t care. If they’ve moved on, why remain attached? You’re wasting time that matters for this life and the next. Be practical and stop letting this hold you back. 6. It isn’t the end of the world - People forget with time. When you get married or become busy with beneficial pursuits, the pain eases. Don’t throw away precious time - plan for your future and your akhirah so you won’t regret wasted years. 7. Keep busy and cut contact - Stay active: work, study, serve others, and increase your knowledge of deen. Make your religious obligations and practice a priority. Also remove things that stir haram feelings or whisperings from Shaytan - block, unfollow, or avoid contact that drags you back. 8. Reconnect with the Qur’an and Seerah - Spend time with the Qur’an and reflect on it; read or listen to the Seerah to remind yourself of prophetic examples and perspective. If reading is hard because of distractions, watch a reliable Seerah series as a start, but aim to engage more deeply when you can. The Qur’an is guidance and contains a vast sea of knowledge - use it to heal and rebuild. May Allah grant you sabr and guide you to what’s best. Remember that recovery takes time - be gentle with yourself and keep turning to Allah.