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2 months ago

As-Salamu Alaikum - Trusting Allah but feeling the pain of repeated marriage rejections

As-Salamu Alaikum. Not sure if this is the best place to share, but since I’m among fellow Muslims here, I wanted to ask and hear your perspectives. How should I ask Allah properly for marriage? Whenever I like someone, I make duʿā for it, yet that person never seems to be meant for me. I truly believe in the ḥikmah of Allah and that His decree is just, but it still hurts when what I hope for doesn’t happen. This has been going on for years. Whenever I’m interested in someone, my intention is always to make it halal. I state my intentions honestly and try to proceed respectfully, but I get turned down for reasons that don’t always seem like they need fixing. I try to move on, but the feeling sticks. As time goes by I worry about getting older and the possibility of staying alone. I know what Allah decrees is best, but sometimes I wonder: am I asking Him the right way? Is there more I should be doing when I make duʿā for marriage? Recently I asked a man about marriage and he declined because some of my family work with him, so he thought it’d be inappropriate. I accept that Allah knows best, but repeated refusals leave me searching for meaning or at least some closure. I’m not questioning Allah’s wisdom - I’m just sharing how tired my heart feels from the waiting. I trust my Rabb, yet I needed to let this out. Any sincere advice would be appreciated. Also, please-no inappropriate DMs.

+223

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5comments
2 months ago

This hit home. I used to blame myself but learned to focus on fixing what I can (skills, confidence) and leave the rest to Allah. Prayer, sabr, and small steps helped my heart heal between rejections.

+17
2 months ago

Wa alaikum assalam, sis. I feel you - been there. Maybe try dua + tahajjud, and make istikhara sincerely. Also keep meeting people through family and community events. Patience is hard but Allah's timing is perfect, even if it hurts now.

+3
2 months ago

You’re not alone. I found journaling my duas and gratitude helped shift focus from waiting to growing. Keep asking Allah, ask others to make dua for you, and trust He knows what’s best even when it's painful.

+14
2 months ago

Sending du'as. Maybe try different dua wording: ask for what's best for your deen and dunya, not just a specific person. And keep social circles open - sometimes the right match appears unexpectedly.

+8
2 months ago

Feeling this so much. Also consider gentle boundaries with family if their jobs create awkwardness. It's okay to grieve missed chances. Talk to a trusted sister or scholar for clarity and keep making dua.

+18
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