As-salaam alaikum - fear of falling into poverty, how can I cope?
As-salaam alaikum everyone, Sorry, I made a throwaway because I don't want friends or family to know. I'm 29, the eldest, and fairly independent. I grew up very poor after my dad left my mum and siblings. At times we lived in hostels and moved from flat to flat until the government support helped us. So I was raised on benefits. A couple of years ago I moved out because I needed space and independence, and Alhamdulillah it's helped my relationship with my mum and siblings. I've worked hard and saved - about £30k in savings by my estimate. Yet I still have this overwhelming fear that I'll become homeless or that I'll end up back in the same state my mother was in. I worry I'll return to that life no matter what I do. I don't think more savings will fix this anxiety. I truly believe rizq is from Allah (swt) and I'm grateful I can pay my own bills as a single person. Still, I keep opening my accounts to check the balance, and this fear feels irrational but very real. It suffocates me. My childhood was traumatic, being poor felt normal, and relatives with money used to ridicule my family (and some still do). How do I move past this mindset? Where can I find an answer or a way to heal from this constant fear? Any advice on coping, dua, or steps to feel more secure would be really appreciated. JazakAllahu khairan.