Are we truly living with free will? Salaam, I need some guidance

As-salamu alaykum. Please, if you’re in a fragile mental place or very young, maybe don’t read on. I’m struggling and just writing this out. Two years ago someone hurt me deeply and it opened up a lot of issues - I ended up in therapy and haven’t been able to let go of things since. My psychiatrist said we don’t fully control our thoughts, only our actions, and that emotions aren’t directly under our control either. But thoughts and feelings drive what we do. What happens if a feeling gets so strong that we have to act just to stop it? Sometimes it makes me wonder if we’re just a bundle of chemicals. If that’s true, could future medicines keep people happy all the time without side effects? And then how does the Day of Judgment fit in? I know Allah’s wisdom is greater than my limited understanding, but if our behaviour is determined by how we’re made, does that mean people like narcissists or psychopaths are simply born that way and not fully blameworthy? Why do I have depression - is it even real, or is therapy a scam? I worry therapy could become an excuse for people not to take responsibility for their actions. What is conscience? If I weren’t Muslim, would anything be objectively wrong? I’m sorry, I’m losing touch with reality and with myself and wondering if this can be fixed. I don’t know how much longer I can keep going. Please make dua for me and any advice or comforting words from an Islamic perspective would really help.