Anxiety is Eating Away at My Days

Assalamu alaykum, everyone. This is my very first time sharing like this online. Lately, I’ve been going through a lot that has tested me and my iman. I just graduated from university, and honestly, this past year has been the toughest I’ve ever faced. My anxiety is taking over, especially when it comes to my health-I worry about it constantly. I make dua to Allah so much, and I even pray tahajjud. For two years, I studied for a medical school exam, but I failed it twice. My dream was to get into pharmacy school, and this year I was turned down. I also got rejected from two master’s programs I applied for. I don’t really have close friends, if any at all. These days, it feels like some Muslim sisters might give each other the evil eye or look down on one another-I’ve seen it happen around me more than once. I keep to myself, but sometimes the loneliness is overwhelming. I didn’t enjoy university because I had no company, and I’m exhausted from so many sleepless nights caused by my anxiety. I’m anxious almost all the time; when it finally eases, I get maybe a day or two of peace before I start obsessing over my body again and it spikes. My faith is strong, alhamdulillah, though I know I can still grow. I’m without a job and have sent out countless applications. For the last position, I went through three interview rounds that drained me emotionally and physically, and after they trained me, they let me go. I never felt at ease there. That night I prayed tahajjud, and subhanAllah, the next day they rejected me. I walked away believing Allah saw something I couldn’t see, so alhamdulillah for that mercy. But still, it all gets too heavy sometimes. I feel sad without a clear reason and worry I’m wasting my life away. Last year was especially dark-I even thought it might be evil eye because at my previous job I got many compliments and talked a lot. Once I stopped chatting so much, I noticed some improvement. The truth is, I need guidance. Why do I pray so much for a thing, yet it’s not given? I spend years making dua for a dream, and it shatters in front of me for no apparent reason. I just want to be happy and healthy again, even if my studies don’t work out or I’m not surrounded by close friends. Ya Allah, all I ask is for my health back. Thank you for reading this far.