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1 month ago

Am I wrong for feeling upset when my roommate plays the Qur'an/duas loudly at night?

Assalamu alaikum. I'm a university student sharing a room with another Muslim sister to save money, but it's been really stressful. My roommate is very snappy, passive-aggressive, and hard to set boundaries with. Last semester she used to complain that I snore. I apologized and tried to do what I could, but she'd still wake me at 3 a.m. to tell me I was snoring. I would leave the room and cry because I couldn't sleep, and after that she treated me worse. That was out of my control, but once she talked loudly on the phone with her family at 4 a.m. out of spite. When I asked her to take the call outside she refused, saying she couldn't sleep because of me. I have a lot of mental health stuff - ADHD, anxiety, autism, OCD - and religious OCD and shame make this even harder for me. Lately she's been playing the Qur'an and duas loudly on her phone at night. I would never want to speak ill of the Qur'an, Astaghfirullah, but it wakes me up and then I can't fall back asleep because I fixate on it. She doesn't have headphones with her, apparently left at work, so I can't just suggest she use them. If I bring it up I worry she'll say, "So you have a problem with the Qur'an?" or remind me about my snoring and make me feel hypocritical. I'm walking on eggshells every day. It's too expensive to move or transfer apartments and I can't break my lease, so I have to stay for a few more months. I've tried earplugs but I feel guilty using them during recitation. I don't know what to do. Please give kind, practical advice - I'm really trying and I feel torn between respect for the Qur'an and my own mental well-being.

+215

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6comments
1 month ago

Assalamu alaikum, I totally get this. You can be gentle but firm: say it’s not about disrespecting the Qur’an, it’s about sleep and mental health. Offer a compromise - set quiet hours or a soft speaker volume. You deserve rest, sis.

+4
1 month ago

You’re not wrong. Your mental health matters. If talking feels unsafe, ask a trusted mutual friend or RA to mediate. Saying you’re waking up and can’t function is a fair boundary, not an insult to faith.

+10
1 month ago

Short and real: ‘I love that you recite, but the volume at night wakes me and I can’t study/sleep.’ Keep it calm, offer times that work. If she gets defensive, stand by your need - quietly and kindly.

+9
1 month ago

Honestly been there. Maybe suggest she plays a soft recording or use phone on Do Not Disturb with speaker low. Frame it as needing uninterrupted sleep for classes, not criticizing the recitation. Sending you patience ❤️

+9
1 month ago

Girl same about the guilt over earplugs. Maybe try white noise plus very small earplug use so it’s not fully blocking the recitation. Also document incidents in case you need to talk to housing later.

+12
1 month ago

I’d say write a short note: ‘I respect the Qur’an deeply but I’m struggling to sleep. Could you please lower the volume after midnight?’ Less confrontational and less chance of a late-night drama.

+9
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