Am I sinning for protecting my heart?

Assalamu alaikum. I’m a Muslim woman. I’ve carried so much pain from my home and from a toxic household, mostly because of my father - the choices he made, the taunts, and his emotional absence and abuse. I also have a little resentment toward my mum for some decisions, but it’s nothing compared to what I feel toward my father. Over the years I suffered a lot mentally, more than I ever showed. Only Allah SWT knows how I managed, and through dua I got through many dark times - without those prayers I wouldn’t be where I am today. I’m working toward my goals so I can be better for myself, for my future husband and for my future children. I don’t want to carry this trauma into my future. I don’t want my kids or myself to grow up with a man like my father, and I don’t want to repeat my mother’s mistakes as a parent. I love my parents, but I wouldn’t wish anyone to have a father like mine. He belittles me to my much younger siblings and speaks down about me. Sometimes my heart literally feels like it’s burning from what they did. Sometimes it’s small, sometimes it’s overwhelming. I try to be patient, alhamdulillah. I try to do good, to practise, and to be a good Muslim. But I can’t seem to let go because the man who should have protected, loved and cared for me as his eldest daughter caused so much emotional harm. I don’t have brothers or other male figures I can rely on for male advice - things like looking after a car, marriage talks, or other “manly” matters. I have one uncle who helps but he has his own family, so there’s only so much he can do. I never even asked my father for anything, yet he still verbally abuses me, calls me names, and at one point even cursed me - after that I became seriously ill and needed a major operation (Allah knows best if there was wisdom in that). He’s never happy for my successes; he always puts me down, and I feel so uncomfortable around him. I limit contact and only speak to him if necessary for my mental peace. I still make dua for him because I don’t want harm to come to him. Am I a sinner for wanting distance and for protecting my mental health? Am I sinful for feeling anger in my heart sometimes or for my thoughts? JazakAllah khair for reading.