Am I missing out on my teenage years? [Discussion]
Assalamu alaykum - I'm learning to code, studying math, and I exercise almost every day. I'm trying to eat better, work on my social skills, write, start saving/investing, and build an online presence. But despite all that, I keep feeling like I'm wasting my teenage years. I recently met a young man who had a rough childhood like mine. He said he's been "trying to have the best teenage years of his life" to make up for what he missed. That made me stop and wonder: am I wasting my teen years? This guy is sociable, in a bunch of clubs and activities, and I almost never see him alone - and to be honest, he seems attractive. What am I doing? It feels like I'm spending every day grinding. When I'm an adult I'll still have responsibilities, so what’s the point of doing all this now? I never really got the chance to be a carefree kid because of childhood abuse and trauma. So why am I not out there trying to enjoy a normal teenage life? I only get these last few years to be young. Is it worth dedicating two hours to a coding project, or an hour to relearning algebra, or practicing new dance steps? I do join clubs, I ran cross country and I love running, but I still feel like I'm trying too hard. I lost touch with my friends from eighth grade and the friend group I worked so hard to build. I've been focused on self-improvement since seventh grade and I feel pretty alone. I know solitude has value - it’s given me time for quiet growth and I actually enjoy that - but I also see there's a lot to learn about social skills. I've made new friends and also drifted from others. Sometimes I feel like I don't have a clear "essence" or sense of realness. I have hobbies and interests, but it can feel hollow, like I'm racing against time and just grinding every day. It nags at me: did I spend the last few years being a kid who just worked nonstop, and will I end up as an adult doing the same? I'm looking for perspective - how do I balance meaningful self-improvement, healing from the past, and still allow myself some real teenage experiences? Any advice or similar experiences would be really appreciated.