Alhamdulillah I’m Muslim - they disowned me, rant
Assalamu alaikum. I recently got disowned for embracing Islam and needed to get this off my chest. For context, I’ve been Muslim for over two years without my parents or wider family knowing. It was a strange time - wearing hijab to classes and around friends felt risky at first, and later I started wearing niqab which actually made things easier for me. My parents drove two hours to the city where I’m at uni to try and convince me not to be Muslim. What shocked me was my dad saying he didn’t have anything against Islam as a religion, but he didn’t want ME to be Muslim. Their line was basically, “Why would you become Muslim when our family are Christians? You won’t fit in with us; we wouldn’t even call you our daughter.” They said they wouldn’t accept it even if a Muslim became Christian because “everyone should stick to what their family follows.” Last year when I tried to tell them, my mum said she’d never change to Islam even if she saw it was the truth because the whole family is Christian. That statement crushed me and made me lose hope that they’d ever accept or join Islam. I feel a lot of guilt - my parents are wonderful people and raised me well, and I keep telling them this isn’t about their parenting. They keep saying their reputation is tied to me since I’m the first child and the first grandchild. As far as I know, relatives only know I’m at uni, not that I’m Muslim. It feels like rock bottom right now, but it also means it can only get better from here. I’m extremely close to my brother - he’s 17, turning 18, and has Down syndrome and learning difficulties. His understanding is childlike, and I’ve cared for him like he’s my own child most of my life. It hurts deeply that my parents don’t want me around him now. I’m so thankful to Allah that he’s excused - he isn’t required to fast or pray because he can’t grasp the concepts of faith. My younger sister cried about all this. My dad, who is diabetic and has blood pressure and cholesterol issues, was so upset he was thinking of going to the hospital. I’m trying to keep going. There’s a weight off my shoulders now that I’m not hiding my faith. I have support at the masjid, but it doesn’t replace family. I make dua that Allah softens their hearts and they learn to accept me - I don’t need them to be ecstatic, just to accept who I am would mean everything. I plan to become slowly more visible to them once things calm down; I don’t want to overwhelm them all at once. Alhamdulillah it could’ve been worse, and InshaAllah things will improve with time and dua. Edit: yes, I come from an Orthodox Christian background and my dad is active in the church, organizing events and such. 2nd edit: please stop DMing me about marriage.