A Heartfelt Message from a Muslim Brother
As-salamu alaykum, I'm not sure if I can even call myself a Muslim. When times get tough, I find solace in reading surahs and I try to defend Islam as much as I can. However, on weekends, I struggle to practice my deen the way I should. Growing up as an Arab Israeli Muslim, I've faced a lot of challenges, being surrounded by people of a different faith and often feeling like an outcast. I remember the painful racist chants and slurs against Arabs and our beloved Prophet (peace be upon him) from a young age. Sometimes, I yearn to reconnect with my faith, but I feel like I don't have a community that accepts me. I've even considered embracing the faith of those around me, but my heart keeps telling me that Islam is the truth. It hurts me to see that Muslims are not as united as other communities. I've made mistakes, like drinking at social gatherings, and I know I'm a sinner. But in those moments of weakness, I'm reminded of the beautiful words 'Return to Allah, even if you have sinned 1000 times.' I wish to return to my faith, but I need a supportive community. To those who might judge me, I ask you to put yourselves in my shoes. You can't imagine what it's like to learn Arabic and pray in secret, hiding your true identity from those around you. I pray that one day, our ummah will be united and strong. I just needed to share my thoughts and feelings. Jazakum Allahu khayran for listening.