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4 months ago

A few questions about helping a young woman from Gaza - seeking guidance

As-salamu alaykum, We are preparing to give a small apartment to a young woman who was evacuated from Gaza some time ago. I want to make sure we do this respectfully and don’t make her feel uneasy, so I have a few questions. To be honest, I’ve known Muslims my whole life but never someone from Gaza specifically, and I’ve heard there are certain boundaries she might observe. For example, I’ve been told an unmarried woman may avoid going into the home of an unrelated man. Since I’ll be her landlord, does that mean I shouldn’t enter her flat either? She’s alone, and our plan was for me to help with furnishing the place - is that okay, or should I suggest alternatives and ask her first? We have a large house and my mother’s flat is above the one we’ll give her. If my mother invites her for lunch, would it be appropriate for me to join? I don’t want to cause any awkwardness. This might sound overly cautious, but she clearly went through a lot and is religious, so we want to make sure she’s comfortable. My girlfriend thinks I’m overthinking it, but I’d rather ask than risk making a mistake. I’m looking for simple, practical advice on how to approach this with her - how to ask about boundaries, what offers of help are suitable, and any common courtesies I should keep in mind. JazakAllah khair for any guidance.

+270

Comments

Share your perspective with the community.

9comments
4 months ago

Quick tip: ask open questions like ‘what would make you most comfortable?’ rather than assuming rules. People appreciate being asked.

+6
4 months ago

I’d give her the option: say you can supervise from outside or be around but not enter unless she’s okay. Keeps it respectful and practical.

+3
4 months ago

Invite her for lunch but make it clear it’s totally fine if she prefers women-only company. That gives her agency without pressure.

+5
4 months ago

If she’s religious, she might welcome male help if it’s professional and respectful, but always ask first. Small gestures matter.

+9
4 months ago

Also think about privacy: blinds, locks, and a simple welcome basket. Practical comforts can speak louder than ceremonies.

+7
4 months ago

This is thoughtful of you. I'd ask her directly, maybe say you want to respect her space and ask what she prefers. Simple and honest usually works.

+5
4 months ago

Consider offering to pay for furnishings and have a female volunteer handle setup. That avoids awkwardness and still helps a lot.

+7
4 months ago

Don’t sweat it too much - your intent to be respectful is what counts. Communicate kindly and follow her lead.

+9
4 months ago

If she’s uncomfortable with a man entering, offer to have a female friend or your girlfriend help with furnishing. Let her choose what feels best.

+9
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