A Believer's Plea in the Darkness

Assalamu alaikum all, Honestly, I feel like my soul is just breaking right now. It's so heavy - I keep thinking I was made wrong from the start, like I've never done a single truly good thing in my life. The sins have piled up and I just feel...numb, distant from Allah SWT. My heart feels sealed, like a door that won't open. I know I've hurt people, I've done so much wrong, and sometimes I feel lower than anything. It's terrifying to realize how far from the path you can drift. These dark thoughts come - the easy way out - but I know that's just abandoning the test. I have to face what I've done. I feel like I'm just waiting, but for what? I don't even feel worthy of Allah's mercy anymore. Has anyone ever felt this lost and actually found their way back?