Worries About Fading Connection to Imaan
After embracing my deen over two years ago, I quickly got into the habit of praying all five salah on time, Alhamdulillah. It felt solid and unshakable-like my prayers were secure for life. I never worried about falling short in this area. Understanding the importance of praying in jama'ah at the masjid, I was regular, Masha'Allah. Whenever a reminder popped up about salah or going to the masjid, I'd just scroll past, thinking it wasn't meant for me since I already had it covered. I never imagined I'd ever consider skipping or becoming careless with my prayers. But now, as sins surround me, though I repent and make tawbah, I feel my prayers starting to slip. SubhanAllah, I still pray-technically on time-but the effort to go to the masjid feels heavier. Missing jama'ah is happening more often; I commonly miss Fajr in congregation and pray at home close to sunrise. Sometimes I arrive late, catching the last rakahs or just before the imam finishes. Sleep feels harder to overcome, and I don't know when I'll break this cycle. Those important sunnah prayers after fard? They've dwindled, sometimes to none. Ramadan, as expected, gave my imaan a boost, but that uplift has faded without returning. There are about twelve masajid within a short walk from my house, but instead of going to the one further away with a beautiful recitation and a strong community, I often settle for the nearest one. Allah knows best. I'm not sure why I'm sharing this-maybe just to offload some worry or seek some reassurance-but the idea that I might intentionally abandon salah is truly daunting and frightening; it feels like it's drawing closer. Plus, upcoming exams are draining my energy and time for Quran recitation. This doesn't feel like the usual imaan dips and rises every Muslim goes through. What should I do, brothers and sisters? Any advice, may Allah reward you.