Why I now understand why some gay people leave Islam

As-salamu alaykum. I just need to get this off my chest - not really asking anything, more of a vent. I grew up Muslim, not super strict but a regular believer. I actually stepped away from Islam about ten years ago as a teen because of doubts that weren’t about being attracted to men. Lately I came back and I’m practicing again. For years I wondered why some gay Muslims walk away from the faith over their sexuality. I didn’t get it - feelings aren’t the sin, actions are. But now I’m starting to see why. We rely on the Qur’an and Sunnah, and on scholars to explain them. The problem is most people can’t directly access deep scholarship, so they depend on teachers and preachers to tell them what Islam says. What those teachers say often ends up feeling like the voice of Allah to a lot of people. When scholars or preachers speak about homosexuality in a harsh, condemning way, it doesn’t always feel like a discussion about an abstract topic. It lands on you personally. Even if you try to separate yourself from the wider LGBT label, the stories and examples they give echo your own experience of being misunderstood and rejected. That kind of talk can make you feel like God hates you, not just certain people. Feeling rejected by God is crushing. You can be trying your best, making sacrifices, praying, and it still feels like you’re not enough. If you’re more devout, that weight is heavier because you care deeply about what Allah thinks. Hearing constant condemnation subtly reshapes how you imagine Allah seeing you. On the other side, there are people who offer unconditional love and acceptance. That feels amazing - like a place of real understanding. And Shaytan exploits that gap. He’ll whisper that if Allah gave you these feelings but condemns you for them, then Allah must be unfair. Emotions can cloud reason, and the more accepted you feel by others and rejected by the community, the more that whisper makes dangerous sense. That’s the moment many end up leaving. Then sometimes Muslim reactions make things worse: “You left just to sin,” or “You were never a Muslim.” Those kinds of words push someone further away and confirm the doubt. What’s really happening is our image of Allah gets distorted by the way people talk about us. The truth is Allah is Most Merciful and He’s pleased with those who lower their gaze and avoid sinful acts. But it’s hard to hold that truth when people who speak with religious authority make you feel condemned. It’s even harder if you were raised devoutly and never questioned deeply before - when you do start doubting, it can feel like all your foundations are shaken. We’re also fortunate that there are respected Muslim scholars and speakers who choose to listen, show compassion, and try to understand our struggles. When respected voices show care, it pulls us back toward Islam because it counters that feeling of total rejection. That’s why it matters to have people within the community who extend understanding and mercy. It makes a real difference and helps gay Muslims feel they have a place in the ummah. Anyway, sorry for the long ramble. Emotions mess with logic sometimes - that’s all this is. For anyone in this situation: you have two tests - don’t act on those desires, and remember there’s a difference between what Allah thinks of you and what some Muslims think of you. May Allah guide us and grant us ease.