Today, the Racism and Misandry Finally Broke Me

Assalamu alaikum. Today I reached my breaking point from all the mocking, taunts, and so‑called “jokes”. I’m 17 and was brought up in a fairly practising family. We were taught to love our Muslim brothers and sisters, regardless of race or background, and that a Muslim’s honour, property and life are sacred. I was raised with basic akhlaaq: speak kindly, remain silent if you have nothing good to say, and assume the best of fellow Muslims. As I got older I began to see my nationality and culture made fun of, treated as something beneath others. I’d always felt confident because my parents taught me we’re all Allah’s creation, but it hurt to realise many in the ummah didn’t treat me that way. The physical traits of men from my background were often turned into “jokes.” I try not to let it get to me, but it’s painful when people who appear religious and who I respected join in. When I mention where I’m from, conversations change. Some people suddenly stop speaking to me. I’ve felt arrogance and microaggressions from Muslims of different backgrounds. I wanted to believe in the goodness of the ummah-maybe those people were just ignorant anomalies-so I kept assuming the best. But the ridicule kept coming. It felt like simply existing as someone of my background made me a caricature. I remember joining an online group to learn Arabic and saying where I was from. A grown Muslim woman started attacking the men of my background, listing every negative stereotype-painting us as abusive, immoral, and ill‑mannered. No one called her out for generalising, and I was only 17. That stung. I thought maybe it was banter, but more and more young Muslims showed the same attitudes. It made me doubt the idea of the ummah being a caring, protective brotherhood. There are practical realities too: many Muslim countries treat people of my nationality poorly, even banning travel. Marriage proposals could be rejected just because of where I’m from. In some places I’d be paid less regardless of my work. These things make the values I was taught feel naive at times. Worse, there’s a trend where men of my background are stereotyped and berated online-even by some women from the same background. I wish our sisters realized how harmful those generalisations are for boys and young men trying to be the best Muslims and people they can be. The final straw was when I experienced the same prejudice from people called “students of knowledge,” those who teach Qur’an and discuss aqeedah but lack basic akhlaaq in how they speak. That showed me the problem exists in many layers of our community and shook my faith in the ummah being a safe place. What really broke me wasn’t just the racism itself, but the thought that the ummah I was raised to love and trust could view someone like me with disgust. To the ummah I ask: what happened to holding the honour of a fellow Muslim as sacred? What happened to akhlaaq? What happened to loving for your brother what you love for yourself? What happened to fearing Allah and guarding your tongue? I’ll leave this reminder from the Qur’an: “O mankind, indeed We have created you from male and female and made you peoples and tribes that you may know one another. Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you. Indeed, Allah is Knowing and Acquainted.” (Surah 49:13) Written by a brother who will always love his brothers and sisters for the sake of Allah swt.