There are two sides to me - asking for guidance, assalamu alaikum

Assalamu alaikum - 20s M. I’ve always been seen as the model son in my community. I became a doctor, I used to pray at the masjid since childhood with mostly elders, my community even made dua when I had an accident. I never use bad language (my mom made sure of that), I’m the one who attends funerals, and compared to other kids around here who got into trouble, I’m the “good” one. My parents genuinely believe I’ve never done anything wrong - they think I’m studying when I’m on my iPad. But the truth is I carry a secret side people would never guess. I’ve messed around with drugs, had addictions (sweets, nicotine, and worse), and done some really stupid, dangerous things - even things that nearly brought police attention. It started with childhood friends who drifted in a different direction; whenever I meet them I slip back into actions I normally wouldn’t. I’ve done these things enough that guilt has faded and it’s become a hidden normal for me. I decided I wanted to leave that haram version of myself behind and be the respectable person everyone knows. To do that I cut ties with many old friends and made new ones who could never imagine my past. They see only the halal me. I remind myself of the Islamic teaching that hidden sins can be forgiven by Allah if one sincerely repents, so I keep that private. Still, the haram side resurfaces when I meet my one remaining friend from that past. He’s gone far down a sinful path, and I’m very close to him. I can’t bring myself to lose that connection even though being with him brings out my worst self. Now I feel hypocritical: my innocent friends casually mention overdosing on “coffee” and I picture real overdoses; my current friends condemn cigarettes while I’ve smoked much worse. I doubt anyone around me could truly understand. I’ve been living two identities and when I encounter my haram self (now only once or twice a year) I embrace and acknowledge him. Is it possible to keep that haram side limited to rare moments while fully living as the better, real me? I hope with time, marriage, and responsibility it shrinks further. But can I hide this from a future spouse? No one in my current life would guess this part exists. I only have one friend linking me to that past who understands me completely, and I don’t want to lose him. I’m looking for advice from brothers who’ve dealt with similar struggles - how do I fully leave the haram side without losing the one friend who knows me, and how honest should I be with a future spouse? JazakAllahu khair.