Struggling with Faith and Seeking Strength in Allah's Mercy

As-salamu alaykum, I just wanted to share some feelings I’ve been having lately, and I hope it’s okay to be honest here... I’m a revert to Islam, about two years in, and at first, Islam felt like the ultimate truth that brought me so much calm. I wear the hijab and was even excited about the idea of wearing the niqab someday. But honestly, the last few months have been really tough. My parents don’t accept my hijab, and I can’t even imagine their reaction if they found out I wanted to wear the niqab. Sometimes I feel like I don’t truly belong in the Muslim community, like I’m just trying so hard to fit in but failing. It might sound silly, but at times I feel like I’m just wearing a costume, not really part of it. The Muslims around me have been kind and welcoming, mashallah, but I still feel a bit out of place. My Quran recitation is weak, and it’s hard for me to remember or pronounce the verses properly. I rely a lot on apps just to pray, and that’s embarrassing for me. Arabic is a struggle, and while I know the meanings of surahs in English, it doesn’t help much during Salah. On top of that, a brother I spoke to briefly about marriage rejected me and instead gave compliments and good wishes to my born-Muslim best friend, which hurt a lot. It’s painful feeling this way because I try to live Islam conservatively and follow what’s halal, but I just face struggle and rejection. The verse "Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear" feels like it’s not true for me right now. Since June, I haven’t been to the masjid like I used to, and I’ve stopped reading the Quran and praying regularly, astaghfirullah. I even started eating pork again and thought about removing my hijab, though I still feel attached to it and now just cover with hoodies sometimes. I feel ashamed and empty, but strangely not guilty. It’s a confusing mix of emotions. When I think about Islam, I feel drained, yet I cannot deny that Allah ‎ﷻ is real. Even listening to Quran makes me uncomfortable. Sometimes I daydream about living a life without religion, feeling free and happy, but Islam feels like a responsibility I can’t shake off. My iman has dipped before, but never this much. I worry about what will happen on the Day of Judgment if I die like this. Sometimes it feels like Allah ‎ﷻ hasn’t helped me or rewarded me, though I know that’s not the right way to think. I still want to be that niqabi sister who feels blessed to have Islam, but I don’t know how to find my way back. To be honest, I’m not even sure if I want to try yet. Right now, I just feel lost and overwhelmed.