Struggling with Faith and Feeling Lost

Assalamu alaikum. Lately I've been going through a lot of hardships that just never seem to end. Now even a tiny problem makes me say awful things about Allah, and I hate it. About 7-8 months ago I had a psychotic break, and since then my whole world turned upside down. I was supposed to finish university, get married, and start my life, but everything crashed. Before the episode, life wasn't easy-I had issues with substance use and wasted many chances-but I still trusted Allah and hoped for better days. Now, the woman I was planning to marry is engaged to someone else and has moved on. I still haven't graduated. My parents see me as a joke, thinking I can't be trusted because of my past, to the point my dad hides the spare car keys when he leaves. I had to come back home for a semester plus summer because they didn't feel safe leaving me alone at university after the episode and finding out about my substance use. I need advice. I still pray my five daily prayers, but that's all. I can't handle anything religious anymore. Hearing Quran just makes me want to turn it off, and I keep mocking anything related to faith. I don't plan on leaving Islam, but I don't know what to do. I used to help others with religious questions, and now look at me. How did I end up here? Why does life feel so harsh? I know Allah tests His servants, but when does it stop? Why is my test so intense that I start cursing the very religion I belong to? I thought Allah knows our limits.