Struggling to Break a Cycle - Need Du'a and Advice
Assalamu Alaikum. I'm a 26-year-old man asking for help with a challenge that's been with me a long time. My problem started when I was about 10. Some older male cousins showed me explicit things; there were no websites then, but that early exposure led me toward an unhealthy habit. As I grew and learned more about my faith, I realized how wrong it was. Around 17, I truly repented to Allah, even placing my hand on the Quran and promising I would not return to it. By Allah's mercy, I stayed away for nine years. From about 2016 I stopped watching pornography and stopped masturbating. Sometimes I might have glanced at pictures of older men, but I would remember my promise and stop myself. Last year I moved to the UK, and life here has fewer social restrictions than back home. Seeing many attractive older men and being in a new environment stirred old feelings and my imagination began to wander. One day I searched online and found a lot of pornography with older men, and after nine years I slipped back into it. I began watching and masturbating again. This relapse started on July 20, 2025, and since then I've been in a cycle. I do it around three times a week, often on weekends but sometimes on weekdays. Every day I beg Allah: “Oh Allah, remove these feelings from my mind and heart.” I feel deep guilt and immediately make tawbah after each time. I keep up my salah and make du'a, but when the weekend comes the urge is strong and I fall again. I feel stuck in repeated sincere repentance followed by relapse. I'm desperate for a way out. I would really appreciate practical, faith-based advice: duas, routines, steps to avoid triggers, ways to strengthen taqwa and self-control, and any personal strategies that helped others break similar cycles. Please keep it simple and real - I'm just a regular guy trying to get back on the right path. Jazakum Allahu khairan.