[Story] I Tried to Change Others, Compassion Changed Me Instead - As-salamu alaykum

As-salamu alaykum. I'm a man in my mid-twenties and I wanted to share something personal. Lately my relationship with my father was strained. We used to disagree a lot. I respect him a great deal, but because he gets upset easily I often held back from saying things. That holding back turned into frustration. I felt powerless when I couldn't make him understand my point. He often thought that being older meant he knew best, and that made talking even harder. I'm still unemployed and doing my best to find work. The pandemic hit me hard. It ruined my attention span, and the habits I fell into during that time, especially watching pornography and excessive masturbation, really harmed my focus and made studying almost impossible. Anxiety and sleepless nights became common. A few months ago I started practicing mindfulness and simple breathing exercises - not to reject our Deen but to heal myself. I joined a basic meditation program and slowly noticed changes. I could study better and concentrate more. In just three months of steady preparation I cleared the first stage of a competitive exam. My anxiety eased, my sleep improved, and I felt more stable. I even started tutoring younger students to help the family while continuing my own studies, something that felt out of reach before. But my father saw things differently. To him, these practices seemed like distractions. What mattered most to him was that I was still jobless. Even after clearing the exam stage, the lack of a stable job overshadowed everything. He thought such practices were only for general wellness or temporary calm and didn't solve real problems. Whenever I tried to explain how these habits helped me, the conversation would end quickly because I wasn't aligning with his view. Everything shifted because of one incident with my younger sister. She got into a fight with our father about her job. She wanted to work in Delhi, and he worried about pollution and the safety of girls there. I agreed with him on those concerns, but my sister felt she deserved the same independence as cousins living in other cities. My father wasn't against her working at all; he only objected to that particular city, preferring other options. She was firm because the company offered a strong package. When she pushed back, I saw my own reflection in her. I realized how rude and unempathetic I must have seemed at times. The only difference was I usually bit my tongue; she spoke without filter. That argument hurt our father deeply, and for the first time I saw him cry. Afterward I overheard my parents talking. My father was telling my mother how much pressure he felt because of our family's situation. He didn't want to see his children struggling and was worried about our future. That's why he had been strict. All he truly wanted was love, respect, and reassurance. That moment changed me. I realized I had been rebellious and lacking in compassion. I was so focused on my own problems that I hadn't tried to understand what he was carrying. I thought my struggles were worse than his. Beneath the harsh words, there was only care and concern. I had become bitter, not him. That understanding softened me. I learned that trying to force others to change rarely works. What truly helps is looking inward, seeking forgiveness from Allah, and addressing our own shortcomings instead of blaming others. This shift improved my relationship with my father. I began speaking more calmly, listening, and sharing my thoughts in a way he could accept. May Allah grant us wisdom and soften our hearts toward our parents. I just wanted to share this in case it helps someone else. JazakAllah khair.