[Story] I lost 35kg (77lbs) after losing my Mum and my sense of smell - Discipline, not motivation

Assalamu alaikum. I didn't end up at 120kg (265 lbs) because I was starving - I got there because I was broken. In late 2020 I lost my Mum and I didn't cope well. I tried to fill the gap by eating everything in sight. Then in 2021 I caught COVID and completely lost my sense of smell. It never came back. I was grieving and numb, unable to smell, and started chasing food for texture and sugar just to feel something. My instincts weren't just off, they were actively harming me. I kept waiting for motivation to save me, but motivation is an emotion and my emotions were shattered. So I stopped waiting to feel ready and began treating my body like a amanah - a trust I couldn't neglect. I work as a Senior Manager in a safety-critical field. I run teams with strict data and safety logs, yet I had been running my own life on vibes and sadness. I set up a strict audit system for myself. I made a rule to log my meals before I ate them because that ten-second pause usually killed the impulse. I treated my daily calorie allowance like a hard spending limit rather than a flexible target. I closed my kitchen at 8 PM every night like a shop shutting its doors, and I walked everywhere no matter the rain or snow. I also made sure to pray and reflect - using salah and du'a to steady my mindset, not as the only solution but as part of the routine. By 2025 I had lost 35kg. If you're waiting for a spark or the perfect moment to begin, it probably won't show up. Motivation is fair-weather; discipline is what remains when the storm hits. Don't wait to feel better. Do the work, keep the trust of your body, and the feelings will follow, insha'Allah.