Seeking Advice on Balancing Faith and Relationships
As-salamu alaykum everyone, I hope you're all well. I wanted to share a bit of my story and ask for some advice. I recently reverted to Islam about three months ago (I'm 35, divorced for a little over two years). I chose Islam because I felt lost and my life was really difficult before - I needed a fresh start and a real connection with Allah. I was raised Catholic but never truly practiced, and I struggled with many things about my old faith and myself. Honestly, I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror sometimes. Since embracing Islam, I feel like a better person overall. It’s truly been a blessing, and everything became clear to me so quickly, which brought peace to my heart. Reverting is, without a doubt, the best decision I've made. But here’s where I’m stuck. Before I embraced Islam, I was in a relationship. Things were fine for a while, but when I told her I needed to stop intimacy until marriage because of my new faith and values, she didn’t take it well. I explained why sincerely, wanting to avoid the mistakes I made before. Lately, she’s been criticizing Islam almost every week - bringing up issues like the reports of child marriage in Somalia, calling the Quran contradictory, and accusing Islam of violence and mistreatment of women. She even mentioned the story about the Prophet (peace be upon him) marrying young, and no matter how much I try to explain different perspectives or share examples of female Islamic scholars and the beautiful history of Islam, she keeps rejecting it and says Islam is against women. I’ve even shared Quranic verses that show kindness and respect, but it never seems to be enough. So I’m dealing with two big challenges: one, it feels like being with her is against my faith (zina), and even if I wanted to make it halal, I’m not sure she’s the right person for me. Two, it feels like she’s developed a strong bias against Islam, which is hard for me to handle. Honestly, I’d like to get married someday, maybe in a year or two, but I wonder if any father would be willing to give their daughter to a revert who is still rebuilding his life. At one point, I hoped our different religious backgrounds could come together, but now it feels like I’m always defending my faith and my decision to revert, which I did for my own growth and to get closer to Allah. I’m really unsure what to do next. I wanted to ask for your thoughts or advice because I know I’m not alone in facing challenges like this. Jazakum Allahu khairan for reading my long post and for any guidance you can offer.