Salaam - wondering if dua even matters anymore

Assalamualaikum. I keep asking myself what’s the point of making dua if I don’t expect it to be answered in this life. I’ve put in effort - tahajjud, reading Quran, working hard - but I end up back where I started ten years ago. I’ve got a criminal record now, no job, no successful business, and it feels like everyone around me is moving forward while I’m stuck. I used to ask for things and hope, but I’ve slowly stopped asking for anything. I don’t even feel sure about the Akhirah anymore; I’m convinced I’d be at a low level if I make it at all. If Allah is as my slave thinks He is, and I don’t think He’ll answer or hear me, then what’s the point? I see people sharing stories about tahajjud changing their lives, and I’ve started praying for smaller and smaller things, yet nothing seems to come. Sometimes I wish for a quick death just to escape the thought of living alone and poor for another ten years. I try to start businesses or find work and all I get are expenses and setbacks. Watching others live what I hoped for hurts. Please don’t tell me all my duas are being kept for the next life - I can’t bring myself to believe they’re even being heard. I’m starting to question whether Allah is as merciful or generous as people say. I don’t even want to be around for this Ramadan. I’ve prayed every Ramadan and tried so many times, and it keeps feeling pointless. I know people will say look at suffering elsewhere or compare with others, but right now that doesn’t help. I’m not asking for answers or sermons - just wondering if anyone else has felt this kind of doubt and how they coped with it. JazakAllah khair for listening.