Salaam - Muslim, disabled, and missing companionship: a sincere question
As-salamu alaykum. I’m a 26 (almost 27) year-old Muslim man, unmarried, and I’ve been looking for a spouse for a while now. To be honest, it’s been really tough. I have cerebral palsy. I’m independent - I live on my own and manage most things myself, alhamdulillah - but my disability still brings extra rejection and bias. People don’t always say it straight out, but you can feel it. Sometimes conversations end as soon as I mention it. Sometimes I never get the chance to be seen beyond it. I deeply long for love and intimacy. I know it’s a sensitive subject for us, and I’m not acting on it, but the desire remains. I pray, I fast, I try to lower my gaze, and I try to do the right things. Still, the thoughts and the ache don’t simply go away. I can’t speak for everyone, but from my experience it seems incredibly hard to find someone - and sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to accept loneliness as my lot. That my independence, faith, and efforts aren’t enough unless I fit a certain look. So I’ll ask plainly, even if it’s uncomfortable: does this mean I’m expected to grow old without sex, closeness, or a spouse if I don’t find someone? Is that truly something I’m supposed to make peace with? JazakAllah khair for any kind, honest thoughts or advice.