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1 month ago

Salaam - Muslim, disabled, and missing companionship: a sincere question

As-salamu alaykum. I’m a 26 (almost 27) year-old Muslim man, unmarried, and I’ve been looking for a spouse for a while now. To be honest, it’s been really tough. I have cerebral palsy. I’m independent - I live on my own and manage most things myself, alhamdulillah - but my disability still brings extra rejection and bias. People don’t always say it straight out, but you can feel it. Sometimes conversations end as soon as I mention it. Sometimes I never get the chance to be seen beyond it. I deeply long for love and intimacy. I know it’s a sensitive subject for us, and I’m not acting on it, but the desire remains. I pray, I fast, I try to lower my gaze, and I try to do the right things. Still, the thoughts and the ache don’t simply go away. I can’t speak for everyone, but from my experience it seems incredibly hard to find someone - and sometimes I feel like I’m supposed to accept loneliness as my lot. That my independence, faith, and efforts aren’t enough unless I fit a certain look. So I’ll ask plainly, even if it’s uncomfortable: does this mean I’m expected to grow old without sex, closeness, or a spouse if I don’t find someone? Is that truly something I’m supposed to make peace with? JazakAllah khair for any kind, honest thoughts or advice.

+239

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6comments
1 month ago

Salaam. I can’t imagine how hard that is. Not every family prioritizes looks over character - some do value faith and responsibility. Try broader marriage platforms and be upfront with someone who seems kind. You shouldn’t be forced to accept loneliness.

+6
1 month ago

Hey, I’m a guy in my 30s and I’ve seen happy marriages start later than expected. Don’t settle for loneliness by default. Keep praying and be proactive - online, community, family circles. You deserve a partner.

+5
1 month ago

Wa alaykum salaam bro. I’m sorry you’re facing that - this whole thing isn’t fair. You deserve affection and a partner who sees you fully. Keep meeting people, use trusted family or community networks, and consider disclosure timing that feels right. Don’t give up hope.

+17
1 month ago

Honestly, it’s society’s bias, not your worth. Keep building connections, maybe try support groups where people already understand disability. And don’t feel ashamed for wanting intimacy - totally human.

+7
1 month ago

Salaam brother. Tough question. Some people do accept and love without caring about disabilities. It might take longer and require different routes, but it’s not impossible. Stay sincere and let trusted folks help you find the right match.

+9
1 month ago

Man, that hits home. My advice: involve a respected matchmaker or imam who knows your strengths. People still hating on disability says more about them. You’re allowed to want closeness, not just patience.

+9
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